Marriage and Unemployment Archives - The Voice of Job Seekers

5 Transferable Skills: From Raising Kids to The Job Interview

If You’ve Raised Kids, You Can Manage Anything by Ann Crittenden was written some years ago to show that parenting skills translate to job skills.

In her book, Crittenden expounds in detail on transferable skills such as:

–call for multitasking and the ability to function amidst constant distractions

–enhance interpersonal skills, from effective negotiation to dealing with difficult people

–develop skills in motivating and encouraging others to excel

–teach a keen sense of fair play and integrity, and much more

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Each person should self-evaluate his or her own parenting to glean the job lessons from teaching, discipline, and feeding their child. I wholeheartedly subscribe to this not only in theory, but also as a participant and a witness.

Each job seeker who is raising his or her children, should apply this thinking as part of an interviewing strategy and to show transferable skills:

Managing and handling difficult situations

Parents that take the high road here benefit the most because employers do not need to glean that you speak to subordinates or anyone like a child. A demonstration of a diplomatic approach always works without screaming, or yelling comes across better.

Multi-tasking and coordinating

Cooking, cleaning, and helping with arithmetic is no joke. Display your tenacity by sharing how you toggle between home applications (as they were software applications). Show employers how planning is a skill in coordinating your children’s events, activities, and academics.

Networking

Concentrate on how these relationships produced invaluable projects and processes in the Parent-Teacher world. To show that you can establish partnerships with others translates in building partnerships.

Adept to various kinds of learning

Since technology is constantly changing personal communication, and the way you conduct business, and demonstrate the way you monitor your child’s use of online tools on the Internet.

Microsoft Office and Budget

Have you used Excel and Access for budgeting? How about writing school letters and business correspondence. Have you balanced your bank and household accounts using Excel? These are hard skills that have project management elements.

Don’t expect any of these to land you an office of your own, but you can position these as relevant skills in most cases.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers," career consultant, job seeker advocate, career writer, and founder of this award-winning blog. I help the employed, unemployed, underemployed, and under-appreciated find jobs using job search strategies to navigate the new job market. I aim to give a safe place online to those with different needs, cultures, and ethnicities to find their voice in the job market. Thousands have read my career advice throughout the web as I write about everything from job search strategies to the mobile job search. I have published more than 400 articles on this blog and some of the largest career sites such as Recruiter.com, YouTern, and Come Recommended. I've been quoted in major online publications such as Monster, TIME/Money, Fortune, Business Insider and MSN. FlexJobs, JobMonkey, Aerotek, Career Pivot, and CareerSherpa listed my podcast as one of the top podcasts to help your job search. Love for you to sign up for the weekly newsletter. I share the latest articles I've written, new podcast episodes, and answer any questions you may have. The new job search is scary and if you need help, I am here for it!

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9 Reasons Your Spouse Lost Their Mind When You Lost Your Job

Your spouse mind raced because you announced you were let go from your job. It is one thing that you have had steady employment, another when the safety net disintegrates. Many changes are about to take place, and some will affect you.

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Read 7 Signs That A Moratorium On Marriage Has Occurred (Until You Find a Job)

The Huffington Post recently reported that marrieds that are on the brink of divorce are waiting because of the lack of employment.

In March 2007, before the bubble burst, 4.6 percent of the labor force was unemployed, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Three years later, the unemployment rate jumped to 10.2 percent. Divorce, on the other hand, decreased by 1.4 percent between 2007 and 2008, according to the report, and then by another 2.8 percent between 2008 and 2009.

Your spouse lost their mind over time. Remember when he or she lost it because you worked overtime? You are not alone. At least stats show that it’s a slow but grinding process, so there is hope if it seems bad now.

Read Marriage and the Unemployed Spouse

Hiring in your career industry appears bleak, and your marriage has peeling chips from its paint. I have listed a few reasons why your spouse is losing their mind if it’s still a mystery to you:

Your spouse thinks you should have seen job loss coming. This premise exposes the lack of communication you had before it hit the fan.
You are minimizing the impact on the family. Saying things like, “It’s not so bad.” “I’m glad its over.” “My boss was out to get me!” Transparency is the key, and never talking about it with yours spouse is a problem.
Either laid-off or Fired, you were dishonest about how it happened. That will tick him or her off for sure. Own up to a poor job performance, or an incident that was your responsibility.
You’re the one freaking out. You are lashing out at your spouse, children, for no reason. Showing control and restraint is YOUR responsibility. Practice temperance and reason and everyone else should follow.
You lack updated, relevant skills to find a job. Unfortunately, a spouse that has encouraged you to go back to school, or pursue another career track will have little mercy on you. It is best to be humble, hear the noise, and push forward.
Your spouse knows the lazy person in you will not conduct due diligence. He or she knows that your ambition barely treads water. Diffuse the bomb before it explodes, and be aggressive in searching and researching jobs. Let your family see your research, talk with your spouse about potential decisions critical to the household (night job or day, lower pay, mandatory overtime).
That makes two. When both spouses are out of work, the panic button is abused. Keep your hand off the button!
You won’t take on extra chores since you have extra time. Unemployment has fringe benefits, but another way to reclaim your spouse. If there is a disconnect, then find ways to reconnect. If you know what makes your spouse tick, then be what they need to make him or her happy.
The lack of money will eventually exploit all marriage weaknesses or at least most. However, the focus on money can into idol worship, thus an even larger issue. Don’t be surprise if this was always prevalent in your marriage.

Read 10 Ways Your Spouse Can Boost Your Career

Sure there are other ways to keep the peace. The unemployed spouse has to compensate for the fear of not contributing financially. Although decisions made out of guilt or compulsion are potentially hazardous to any relationship, this is the kick in the behind you need.

Many issues existed before you lost your job. How you deal with it will determine if your marriage grows or perishes down the line.

What are other reasons spouses go CRAZY when job loss in the family occurs? Perhaps there are ways to properly handle a spouse’s job loss. Please share either by commenting below.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

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10 Ways Your Spouse Can Boost Your Career

Marriage is a powerful relationship. Yes, I see and hear the eye-rolling, head-shaking, and let-me-check-my-Facebook-page-on-my-phone people sigh in the “I’m sick of hearing this myth” attitude. I must warn you that this post is a positive marriage post so if you need to stop reading, go ahead. But please, allow me to pontificate, because the evidence below is from personal experience and the relationships of many of my friends, and as a career practitioner. Your spouse will boost your career aspirations, goals, and accomplishments if you let him or her. I will spare you the “what doesn’t kill you” cliché, but the formula hasn’t changed. It takes two selfless, imperfect, and sacrificing individuals to make your career thrive through your spouse.

I don’t know one marriage that has lasted through the last ten years not confront serious career decisions. The surge in divorces has risen recently because couples from broken marriages waited out the great recession for a better financial situation. We will probably see the divorce rate surge past 50% in the next few years. Although job loss isn’t the sole reason for the marriage’s demise, it is often exposed the problems that do or sometimes is the last straw.

1. Your spouse will likely tell you the unfiltered truth. One of the challenges and blessings of marriage is how your spouse relays the “you’re-not-doing-it-right” message. Sometimes the rough delivery is the wake up call needed to take a second look at your approach to anything. In this case, your job search, career goals, your professional fashion attempts, and/or relationships could use a boost. Your spouse knows exactly what button to push, and sometimes, the buttons that annoy you the most are the ones that motivate you the way that moves you to action. It’s also a sign of a good partnership. Sure, there are times when the delivery of the message is painful and at times causes a little dissension. But you think about it several times when you realize that person has your best interest at heart.

2. His/her network is your network. You have twice the contacts that most wouldn’t have when you were single. For this to be truly effective, those times when you need to help family members with trivial chores or attend a school play, position it in your mind at networking or career management. Mostly, you will find yourself telling family members what you do, and the why, how, where, and when about your career. Don’t lose sight of the goal here as numbers do count, and how deep you dig into your network counts more.

3. He or she can help you rehearse conversations, interviews, or proofread. This works if your spouse does any of these as a part of their job. Proofreading is great if your husband is a writer or is doing his graduate work. Or if your wife is an editor or writes herself. But if they are neither, then it can still get you closer if he or she catches errors. Your spouse can help you with the little communication habits that turn people off or annoys them. My wife drills into me about eye contact. I think I did a good job before meeting her, but after all of these years of hearing about it, I think I’m excellent at eye contact since we’ve been together.

4. Encouragement. If you are not the main source of encouragement for your spouse, in most cases, it is not reciprocated. But if you work at it with your spouse where both of you are competitive, and encouraging to each other, it can be a powerful tool.

5. Each other’s coworkers become a significant part of your career trajectory. I have seen coworkers become part of the solution in married life. These days, coworker relationships are more constant than dating and sometimes marriage relationships. If there is a mutual liking and respect, these relationships are uncounted, but advantageous relationship.

6. Your spouse can challenge you like no one else. This is powerful motivation in a positive way in my marriage. If your relationship has the right tenor (my opinion), then no one can move you to action, lift you up, or crush you like your spouse can. If this dynamic is mutual, it is a sign of a marriage that will strengthen for years to come and experience continued career success.

7. People are positively motivated when two work as one. There is nothing more encouraging when you see couples coordinate, promote, and act on the same page. This takes a lot of communication and understanding, but if you’re not, this can be contentious. This means that your efforts together will stagnate, but on the other hand, what is revealed can be rectified if the desire is mutual.

8. When one falls, the other is there to lift you up. When a spouse is conducting a job search, it affects the two of you. All of the anxiety, nervousness, and stress is on both of you. It is not recognizable at first because it affects each person differently. This is difficult to see if you are the person who needs a job or a new job. The trap is realized when one doesn’t become what the other needs. Finding ways to serve each other during this time is balm or remedy. The power comes when spouses are trying to out serve the other. Then courage, patience, perseverance, persistence, and resilience are installed in each other as a result of lifting up one another.

9. Your Spouse Is an Expert in Your Talents. The bonus is if they can bring out the best of you. This doesn’t always transform into career attributes, but sometimes affirmation from your spouse can inject energy and synergy into your job search. This is especially helpful when job leads run dry.

10. He or she can shorten the length pain and disappointment. The job search is a roller coaster full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys, and at times depression is even harder to anticipate. Sometimes comfort is what we need, not more strategies, follow-ups, or attempts. Yes, the need to keep going is essential, but the moments of rejuvenation are needed more. From a hug to shutting out the world for an evening will work. Sometimes we need someone else to permit us to relax for a bit and take our minds away from the grind, when it’s a grind. The job search is a hilly, rocky, and muddy marathon. Any thing spouses can do to ease the pain is essential.

By no means will a combination of my suggestions will fix shortcomings such as specific skills or personal attributes needed for any profession. What it will do is help each spouse endure the challenges that are often faced in today’s complicated job search. If you really need these things in your life, then I know where you can start: You start to become what he or she needs.

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Managing and handling difficult situations

Multi-tasking and coordinating

Networking

Adept to various kinds of learning

Microsoft Office and Budget

About Mark Anthony Dyson

About Mark Anthony Dyson

About Mark Anthony Dyson