The average person is affected by layoff announcements, whether directly affecting them or coworkers. The cubicle once occupied by a coworker had family pictures. The ones with encouraging smiles or rattling off cliche reminders to take one day at a time are all gone. You challenged yourself to remain unattached to coworkers, but it happened. You didn’t cheat on yourself. You became human. 

Most careerists don’t realize sentimentality is a career killer. Yet, according to a recent survey, many give away too much to their employer. Only 45% report their employer sees them as a person. People are staying more and quitting less now, but statistics alone don’t predict satisfaction.  

Many workers divorced the idea of coworkers as family. But it doesn’t mean sentimental feelings don’t exist about the job. It’s easy to remember when things were good. The great boss, employer, coworkers, or past accolades were real, but it’s not the current reality. These feelings stifle possibilities as much as a boss who undervalues you. It’s time to get real: You fear change, and the default switch is quiet quitting.

How many times have you put off your job search because you felt obligated to the employer for:

Did they give you the first job?

They promoted you more times than any other company you worked for.

Are your coworkers’ family (please say no)?

All of those seem legitimate when you have those feelings, but they don’t last when:

The new boss doesn’t value you like the old one did.

When peers you’ve trained are promoted ahead of you.

The enforced but dreaded RTO (Return To Office) is a headache.

One could argue acquiescence is equally damaging, but its application fits the company culture. It’s possible to have a culture of sentimental employees but to suggest everyone deciding to remain begrudgingly complacent is silly.

Avoiding sentimentality will mean an intentional path to career growth. It’s a lonely path, but seeing your younger, less experienced coworkers pass you is triggering when it happens.

Here are several steps to take to avoid the sentimental trap:

Find your reasons for career growth and not your coworkers.

The more purposeful you are in planning and strategizing your exit, the better traction you’ll sustain. As a “business of one,” you must consider what your next steps will create the most profit. Stifled professionals witness their younger and less experienced colleagues advance their careers and get mad but don’t get even. It only lasts a minute because it’s easier to immerse deeper into a project to meet a deadline.

Invest time and money into professional development.

Stagnant professionals often find themselves proverbial light-years behind when looking for new jobs. Technology is changing at the speed of light. If it’s been several years since you’ve received further training, finding relevance in your exit will take a lot of work. To show you can adapt to new technology and be adept at different kinds of learning, use your new skills to volunteer at an organization and ask for a reference in return for good work.

Join and get active in your industry’s organization.

There are valuable networking and development opportunities your company doesn’t offer. Active and engaging organizations offer a front seat to innovation, emerging technology, and how peers are advancing their careers. When you add value by presenting at an industry conference, participating in a committee, or helping in developing membership policies, members will connect with you.

Cultivate growth in your current position.

Your future employer will scrutinize your qualifications through the lens of relevance. Your performance, productivity, and problem-solving ability must be applied now rather than embedded in your past. Start tracking and documenting your past and present commissions using results and achievements to show impact. It will inform you how you can grow and use the data to help update your resume and make improvements for your following performance review.