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5 Ways Sentimentality Is Ruining Your Career

5 Ways Sentimentality Is Ruining Your Career (2) by Mark Anthony Dyson

I have a Spotify playlist called “Endorphins.” As of today, it contains more than 200 soft rock love songs/somebody-done-somebody-wrong songs. These songs take me somewhere pleasant and calming. I’m sure you have a playlist that does the same for you.

Similarly, you may also look back on a previous workplace the same way I look at my playlist. Perhaps you remember an office where you once felt wanted, needed, and even praised. There are good reasons to feel sentimental when someone or something makes you feel valued.

But unlike my playlist, which is harmless, sentimental feelings toward a workplace aren’t always good news for your career. Never should such feelings drive your job search or your career choices.

Many of us are sentimental about our ex-anythings — friends, loved ones, and yes, even jobs. For a period of time, these may have been the best things in our lives.

The company you used to work for might have been the place where you cut your teeth. It was good for you at the time. Maybe now your sentimental feelings have you wondering if you should return as a boomerang employee.

Read 10 Job Search Strategies Beyond The Resume

Has layoff announcement rumors and whisperings got you in your feelings? It’s time to formulate a new but healthier perspective of work.

I hate to tell you this: The company was never family.
Even if you had a “work spouse,” um, no. Just no.

Companies don’t reward loyalty. It’s arguable if your hard work is acknowledged at your company.

What if your siblings or parents told you they appreciate you 2.5% more than they did last year? Imagine them saying their appreciation topped out at 4% for any family member.

Sobering? It should be. And if you were caught up in any of it, it’s affected your judgment and set your career light years backward.

Need help determining if sentimentality has infected your career journey?
Consider the five ways it may be harming you:

5 Ways Sentimentality Is Ruining Your Career by Mark Anthony Dyson

1. Sentimentality Distorts Your Perception of Reality

Just because you received several promotions and did some memorable work doesn’t mean the company is still the right place for you. A lot can change.

Instead of relying on fond feelings, check in with your old employer. See what has changed about the organization overall and your former position in particular. Make career decisions based on what the company really is, not on what you remember it to be.

Read How to Create Realistic Expectations During Your Job Search

2. Sentimentality Makes You Confuse Relationships for Results

You’re friendly and hold great conversations. You built great friendships with the people you used to work with.

But did you really accomplish much in that role? Try to write out a clear list of concrete accomplishments to see if the job was really as good for your career as you think it was.

3. Sentimentality Comes and Goes

The feelings you have about that old job may not last, and you should never make career decisions based on what your mood is at a given moment.

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Step back and soberly dissect each aspect of that old job. Did you really love everything about it? Or are you letting sentimentality cloud your judgment again?

4. Sentimentality Doesn’t Account for How Much You’ve Grown

It took me years to swallow something one of my mentors taught me: “Never do your old job.” We’re supposed to outgrow our old positions as we progress. You can’t produce more value for employers if you never move beyond your old job.

Listen to Layoffs? Did Someone Say Layoffs?

5. Sentimentality Hinders Rational Judgment

When we’re facing challenges at work, we have a tendency to romanticize our old jobs — but we probably had problems there, too. Romanticizing rarely helps us understand the situation or address the issues at hand.

Your job search strategy must rely on facts as much as possible.

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I will admit that elements of emotion and faith may enter the equation, but a strategic approach requires a foundation of truth.

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Relying on the way it used to be is not good intel, and it could misguide you. Instead of letting sentimentality guide your career, try to put yourself in a clear, objective mindset. Make the choices that are best for your professional journey — not the choices that your fickle heart urges you to make.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.

One Job Search Strategy is Not Enough

Design by Mark Anthony Dyson

You want to be seen and heard of getting a job but not famous. It takes thought and strategy. Looking for opportunities when transitioning to another career or due to a job separation is a chase you don’t want to pursue.

I get it.

It was almost a year ago I was ousted by Facebook and IG. They claimed I posted “against community standards.” When I emailed them three times to contest it and asked what standards I broke, they said they would get back to me. People told me I needed to get back as soon as possible. I was urgent in resolving the issue.

They weren’t.

They disabled my account instead.

After attempting to reach them for a few weeks, I decided to double down on Twitter and LinkedIn. In a way, life got more manageable.

I’m sorry, I don’t have a sexy “I-gained-tens-of-thousands-of-followers” story on any platform.

I didn’t crack anybody’s algorithm.

Well, tomorrow’s here, and I’m not hooked; I didn’t spend my last dime tryin’ and didn’t miss it. I’m NOT feenin’ (for Facebook or IG). I didn’t create second accounts for either.

I got a blog with hundreds of articles.
I got an email list of almost 3,000 people (more than that, but I purge regularly).
Not to mention I create tons of other content.

Lesson learned: Never rely on one platform to send your message.

Any platform could dive at any time.

Apply the same principle I mention here to your job search:

One method of job search offers little success. Diversifying your strategy over time (and hopefully continuously) will bring a stream of potential opportunities.
When one method brings a little momentum, use others for a forward thrust.
Social media offers opportunities to connect with people, but reliance on one platform could minimize your possibilities.
Creating content showcasing your expertise has a lot of value. It’s one way for people to find you and your work and discuss what you do, not how you got there.

Rejection may cause you to panic and make you feel anxious, and you do some things you’ll regret. Don’t fall for it.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

6 Signs Your Career is a Wilting Plant

Many professionals coast, wait in the cut, or disengage from their job search because the Department of Labor numbers indicate it’s a “job seekers market.” Many more professionals dread the stress of the application process, scrutiny, and potential rejection of their efforts. In any economy, starting a job search is tricky because there are many things to manage, and it’s never easy. You don’t have to apply for a job to stay engaged in a job search.

My wife told me a story once of how she planted sitting for her roommate, and eventually, the plant died. Then she bought another plant to replace that one, and shortly after a while, the new plant resulted in a similar fate as the first. I know very little about plants, and it will show, but stay with me.

Many professionals work with their heads down, focused – until the announcement of your position has been phased out. Is your career watered and nurtured? It’s not too late to keep it moisturized and nurtured. Cut the still green parts, and cut the finished pieces – this is your career!

Recent history should have taught us that remaining engaged in improving and moving your career along requires more attention you give your plants:

1. Prepare and cultivate the soil of your experience
2. Plant the seeds of new skills
3. Water them regularly, growing new experiences
4. Prune old and useless weeds of skills you won’t need
5. Offer an array of vibrant and radiant personality

A plant is a living organism. Your career growth is similar to a plant’s health. It needs your attention. It will die if you’ve left it to fend for itself.

Like an unattended plant, your career lacks water (or life):

1. If you water your plant now and then

You’ll find out your company wasn’t using “cutting-edge” technology after all.
Budgets crumble, management changes, and innovation stifles, but mostly, they never used cutting-edge technology. The “cutting-edge” technology part was right ten years ago. You didn’t research or network with others outside your company in your industry to see if they claim it is true. Let’s not make that mistake again.

2. If you don’t prepare the soil

You waited for the company to pay for the training to make you marketable
When companies spend money on training, their specific business need is at the forefront, not your career aspirations. You can find other business needs requiring the same activity or control of your career and invest in the resources for skills other companies demand.

3. Oops, now you’re drowning your plants

By tomorrow, you have to update all of your marketing tools (resumes, cover letters, etc.). Just as flooding your plants with water is not correct, neither is binge preparation.
Athletes train in their off-season to remain competitive to keep their position during training camp. Similarly, successful professionals keep their resumes updated and ready to compete.

4. You may need to see if you have enough seeds

Your references and network have moved on in their careers (and they’re not rushing to your rescue)
Like jobs, former references become irrelevant and, perhaps, have moved on and no longer offer a relevant job reference. If they’re not more than ten years removed from your exploits, keep up with them. Don’t forget to add others who can offer testimonies about your work and, if possible, write favorable Linkedin recommendations for you.

5. Gone before you noticed, and the loss is overwhelming

For many professionals, losing a job is similar to losing a family or family support. The narrative needs to shift as companies change staffing, or selling is a new norm. Absorb the shock of a sudden job loss by engaging with your network, professional development, or industry organizations.

6. Afraid you’ll get caught watering other plants

Getting caught looking is not just a baseball batter’s worry but a legitimate career concern, too! There are many ways to find work while working, and it’s easier now than ever to protect your current employment. You can conduct a stealth job search easier with many of the resources available on your mobile, as well as other ways to find job leads.

If you neglect a plant for long periods, it will die quicker than if you watered them regularly. Similarly, your career goals will fade away or die if they go unattended. Then again, your career reflects the life of a tree planted that grows in water. It’s big, healthy, and often has a long life – but it stays in the water, surviving any drought.