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5 Ways Sentimentality Is Ruining Your Career

I have a Spotify playlist called “Endorphins.” As of today, it contains more than 200 soft rock love songs/somebody-done-somebody-wrong songs. These songs take me somewhere pleasant and calming. I’m sure you have a playlist that does the same for you.

Similarly, you may also look back on a previous workplace the same way I look at my playlist. Perhaps you remember an office where you once felt wanted, needed, and even praised. There are good reasons to feel sentimental when someone or something makes you feel valued.

But unlike my playlist, which is harmless, sentimental feelings toward a workplace aren’t always good news for your career. Never should such feelings drive your job search or your career choices.

Many of us are sentimental about our ex-anythings — friends, loved ones, and yes, even jobs. For a period of time, these may have been the best things in our lives.

The company you used to work for might have been the place where you cut your teeth. It was good for you at the time. Maybe now your sentimental feelings have you wondering if you should return as a boomerang employee.

Read 10 Job Search Strategies Beyond The Resume

But returning to old workplaces doesn’t always work out. LeBron James and Dwayne Wade worked together twice on the basketball court. One time was hugely successful — the other time, not so much. We as basketball fans bought in for a moment, but they weren’t winning like the old times. They had to part ways.

Are you, as a job seeker, ridden with sentimentality? If so, you may be derailing your own career path

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. You may be headed down a dead end because your feelings are getting in the way of making clear decisions for the good of your career. You can’t build a career on the way you used to feel.

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Unsure if sentimentality has infected your career journey? Consider the five ways it may be harming you:

1. Sentimentality Distorts Your Perception of Reality

Just because you received several promotions and did some memorable work doesn’t mean the company is still the right place for you. A lot can change.

Instead of relying on fond feelings, check in with your old employer. See what has changed about the organization overall and your former position in particular. Make career decisions based on what the company really is, not on what you remember it to be.

Read How to Create Realistic Expectations During Your Job Search

2. Sentimentality Makes You Confuse Relationships for Results

You’re friendly and hold great conversations. You built great friendships with the people you used to work with.

But did you really accomplish much in that role? Try to write out a clear list of concrete accomplishments to see if the job was really as good for your career as you think it was.

3. Sentimentality Comes and Goes

The feelings you have about that old job may not last, and you should never make career decisions based on what your mood is at a given moment.

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Step back and soberly dissect each aspect of that old job. Did you really love everything about it? Or are you letting sentimentality cloud your judgment again?

4. Sentimentality Doesn’t Account for How Much You’ve Grown

It took me years to swallow something one of my mentors taught me: “Never do your old job.” We’re supposed to outgrow our old positions as we progress. You can’t produce more value for employers if you never move beyond your old job.

Listen to Layoffs? Did Someone Say Layoffs?

5. Sentimentality Hinders Rational Judgment

When we’re facing challenges at work, we have a tendency to romanticize our old jobs — but we probably had problems there, too. Romanticizing rarely helps us understand the situation or address the issues at hand.

Your job search strategy must rely on facts as much as possible.

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I will admit that elements of emotion and faith may enter the equation, but a strategic approach requires a foundation of truth.

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Relying on the way it used to be is not good intel, and it could misguide you. Instead of letting sentimentality guide your career, try to put yourself in a clear, objective mindset. Make the choices that are best for your professional journey — not the choices that your fickle heart urges you to make.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers," career consultant, job seeker advocate, career writer, and founder of this award-winning blog. I help the employed, unemployed, underemployed, and under-appreciated find jobs using job search strategies to navigate the new job market. I aim to give a safe place online to those with different needs, cultures, and ethnicities to find their voice in the job market. Thousands have read my career advice throughout the web as I write about everything from job search strategies to the mobile job search. I have published more than 400 articles on this blog and some of the largest career sites such as Recruiter.com, YouTern, and Come Recommended. I've been quoted in major online publications such as Monster, TIME/Money, Fortune, Business Insider and MSN. FlexJobs, JobMonkey, Aerotek, Career Pivot, and CareerSherpa listed my podcast as one of the top podcasts to help your job search. Love for you to sign up for the weekly newsletter. I share the latest articles I've written, new podcast episodes, and answer any questions you may have. The new job search is scary and if you need help, I am here for it!

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5 Lessons on Career Success I Learned in College

For mass communications majors at college, getting a television or radio reporting gig was a major career stepping stone. I was not one of those mass communications majors, but when I saw a job posting for a reporter position with a radio program, I decided to apply.

I knew the competition would be substantial, and that I would be at a disadvantage. I was a communications major, but not a mass communications major. Most of those students had experience writing copy and talking in front of cameras. Even if they had only practiced in simulations, they still had more experience than I had.

But I knew I had a few things going for me: gumption, a recorder, and a profound sense of curiosity. I also paid attention to detail. The application process required candidates to submit sample interviews, which I did. An associate dean at my university was kind enough to give me 20 minutes of his time to discuss his enthusiastic study of ghosts. I knew I had nailed a topic no one else would think of.

I got the job, beating out the dozens of mass communication majors who applied. Anne, the news director at the program, told me I was the only candidate to submit an interview. She said she kept telling applicants, “You have to go and talk to people!”

Being compensated for doing something I loved was a dream come true. That job had everything: flexibility, fun, and adventure. It also taught me a few valuable life lessons that I still carry with me:

1. Your Job Search Won’t Be Comfortable

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The associate dean gave me an impressive interview, despite my fear and anxiety. The collaboration accomplished precisely what the employer wanted to see — but it was still a harrowing experience.

Don’t expect to operate from your comfort zone during your job search.

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2. Treat People Extraordinarily Well

I eventually got a chance to work with the dean of the college for a week, and it set up some other related job opportunities. I only had this chance because I treated people well and focused on my relationships at work.

Don’t view jobs as one-off events. See how they can have long-tail effects on your life and career. Build your relationships.

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Listen to Giving Women The Courage to Negotiate Salary

3. Be Ready to Prove Your Worth

Landing a job will require some evidence of your value — like the interview I did with the associate dean.

There are other ways to showcase your value, such as social proof on your website or LinkedIn profile. Online assessments and behavioral testing are becoming more common parts of the hiring process as well, so you must be ready to perform on demand in order to show employers you have what it takes to succeed.

Read Be a Consultant, Not a Job Seeker nor Anything Like Your Competition

4. Adopt a Consultant Mindset

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Unless you’re aiming for a contract job, you need to show you can do more than just fix a single problem.

You want to prove that you can collaborate with various partners in your organization in order to create new value.

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For example, the news director was impressed that I interviewed the associate dean for my demo tape. I learned later the dean was at the top of his field, and I was fortunate to get any time at all with him. The dean was also impressed: He thought my genuine interest in his studies offered a value rarely available to him.

Read 10 Ways to Stay in Demand for Your Work – And Career

5. Do Great Work t0 Stay in Demand

It takes time to master your profession or craft. You won’t immediately be the best, but you can build a portfolio of white papers, articles, videos, interviews, and other relevant projects that show off your skills. Without my interview with the dean, I probably would not have gotten the job. Regularly producing great work is how you stay in demand.

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Your road to job search success can be difficult at times, but it doesn’t have to be unproductive. Do great work and forge valuable relationships with like-minded people — even when you aren’t looking for a job. This is how you will stand out and get noticed before you even need to be.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

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How to Create Realistic Expectations During Your Job Search

Your job search needs to be dynamic, but based on realistic expectations. We envy those who make it look easy. I liken it to getting and staying married. When I met my wife, it wasn’t “love at first sight.”

Are you ready for an emotional ride of sorts? Are you willing to employ grit and grind? That’s what it will take in 2017 and beyond. There is a lot of waiting, too. This is only one part of the job search because smart and savvy job seekers understand it’s a combination of their network, timing, and a strong personal brand in concert. A big part of it is your understanding of what an employer needs. Perhaps they need you at this time.

You won’t know until you’re willing to be a little bold (which is a realistic expectation).

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Looking at how easily other job seekers get jobs can hurt your mindset. I remember watching other couples, I wanted to be them, but with the right girl. It was going to take time—so will your job search.

Listen to Does Diversity and Inclusion Matter to Your Career Anymore?

Is your job search network friendly? Are you prepared for incremental gains? Will you be persistent and resilient enough to remain the focus for a possible 6-9 month job search? The Bureau of Labor and Statistics says unemployment is below 5%, but people are more transient in their careers. Yes, baby boomers will work until they are 75 years old, but many people are advancing their careers by changing jobs. Right now, there are active and underemployed job seekers on the market, taking advantage of their employability by remaining employed while looking.

There won’t be an easy way to do it either. Today’s job search requires 100% engagement and a wide variety of approaches. The “click and submit” method is not nearly sufficient. I’ve heard other career professionals quote (and I have done so in the past) 80% of all jobs are not posted on job boards, but I don’t think it’s true. This article from the Wall Street Journal cites it too from 2013. I do think there’s a chunk of jobs not posted, and more existing because the employer hasn’t met you. Yet.

Realistic expectations don’t come naturally. You must insert them inside your strategy. I met my wife through her best friend, who I was dating at the time. As I mentioned, it wasn’t “love at first sight” for that reason. But her best friend and I didn’t work out, yet, I wasn’t focused on pursuing my future wife.

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Along the way your perspective will be challenged in many ways:

Downtime will challenge realistic expectations.

Dating is best when you have options. So is your job search. More people are searching for new opportunities, and if your job search is your “second job,” you won’t have much downtime. It does say you need to create some, and it’s challenging. Conversely, if you are unemployed, you have too much time and should create a schedule, a to-do list, and employ a multi-level approach. This means to create long-term career plans, not just to get the job now.

Get my free eGuide, “118 Job Search Tips for the Modern Job Seeker in 2018!”

Accountability sets realistic expectations.

Expanding and cultivating your network powers your job search. It is the tool to make your efforts meaningful and holistic. Invite people who are unabashedly truthful but empathetic as part of your team. Ask them to be truthful and reward them for it.

Informational interviews (business conversations) set realistic expectations.

Interviews with hiring managers fill in the blanks if you’re asking the right questions about the industry, the position, and the skills. When I became interested in my wife (a year removed from dating her best friend), I asked a lot of questions of our common friends. I didn’t want to come off desperate and knew they would report everything. If you go to an employer in a desperate state and ask for a job (that may not exist), you’re in the wrong mental space. Done right, it could enhance future conversations and interactions with other hiring managers, your resume, and your value. It’s intel for future conversations and real interviews unless they invite you to the party.

Continued learning will heighten realistic expectations.

Successful job candidates are perpetual learners. They find ways to add to his or her career arsenal and apply it their work, side hustles, or content. If you’re changing careers, standing out by teaching what you learned is a way to catch the eyes of recruiters or hiring managers since most people refuse to do everything that it takes. I think that was the turning point of my relationship, both of us learning and believing we’ll do what it takes.

Your spouse or partner will set realistic expectations in proper perspective.

Nothing sets reality in like the encouragement or discouragement from someone who intimately knows and depends on you. The beauty of having trust is embedded in your lives together even if they don’t understand completely what you do and how you do it. They will look at your life together and try to envision how it will look. I know many people find this the hardest, but it’s part of the part of the fabric.

Read 10 Ways Your Spouse Can Boost Your Career

Again, realistic expectations don’t happen on their own. There are pieces of the puzzle that must fit together for you to find the right employer, position, and life. After 27 years, I can tell you there is a constant reset of realistic expectations. We evolve and change as life brings us our next challenges. Your job search similarly will bring you a steady flow of caveats. You can’t do it alone. Plan to reset often.

This article was originally published at Jobs2Careers.com!

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1. Sentimentality Distorts Your Perception of Reality

2. Sentimentality Makes You Confuse Relationships for Results

3. Sentimentality Comes and Goes

4. Sentimentality Doesn’t Account for How Much You’ve Grown

5. Sentimentality Hinders Rational Judgment

About Mark Anthony Dyson

1. Your Job Search Won’t Be Comfortable

2. Treat People Extraordinarily Well

3. Be Ready to Prove Your Worth

4. Adopt a Consultant Mindset

5. Do Great Work t0 Stay in Demand

About Mark Anthony Dyson

Downtime will challenge realistic expectations.

Accountability sets realistic expectations.

Informational interviews (business conversations) set realistic expectations.

Continued learning will heighten realistic expectations.

Your spouse or partner will set realistic expectations in proper perspective.

About Mark Anthony Dyson