Career Archives - Page 40 of 43 - The Voice of Job Seekers

Marriage and the Unemployed Spouse

When one job-seeking unemployed spouse is out of work, it affects everyone in the family. Enough studies substantiate that affected married people feel loads of stress, and sometimes, the solutions are not easy.

I came across this study recently that connected distress and marriages with at least one unemployed spouse. This study was good for me to read, having experienced all of these hypothesizes, and found solutions that worked.

The study: Song Z, Foo M, Uy M, Sun S. “Unraveling the daily stress crossover between unemployed individuals and their employed spouses.” Journal of Applied Psychology. January 2011;96(1):151-168.

End-of-day distress of the employed spouse will relate positively to end-of-day distress of the unemployed spouse.

Perceived daily marital support will mediate the relationship between end-of-day distress of the employed spouse and end-of-day distress of the unemployed spouse.

Daily family hassles shared by spouses will be related to end-of-day distress of both spouses.

(a) Daily financial strain, (b) daily deprivation of time structure, and (c) daily negative search experience will be positively related to distress experienced by the unemployed spouse.5. (a) Daily work stress, (b) daily work–family conflict, and (c) daily family–work conflict will be positively related to end-of-day distress of the employed spouse.6. Marital satisfaction will moderate the stress crossover between spouses. Specifically, distress crossover between spouses will be stronger in unsatisfied than in satisfied marriages.

As I know that studies can be boring and direction-less, these are my suggestions to help diminish these particular distresses in a marriage.

Couples should learn to be affectionate early in the marriage, and be accepting of each others’ “crosses to bear” early in marriage. Complaining alone does not add up to openness. Openness alone will not result in resolution. Combination of either does not get you hired, but affection offers a world where two people can meet in the middle.
Support in a marriage includes being truthful when it hurts. Yes, it is painful at the time, but it is the beginning of healing. It could also include one spouse saying, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself, keep trying.”
Young children should be a part of that refuge. During my unemployment grind eight years, playing with my little boys eased much of the pain. As everyone knows, children are not the place to unload nor an emotional dumping ground.
Unemployment can be a root of many problems: Lack of money, time management, and self-control. During stressful episodes, my wife and I learned to co-exist in areas of agreement, and was diligent about creating more opportunities to encourage each other. Agreeing takes more energy than to disagree, and it is more challenging sustain.
Frequent sharing of job hunting victories will show transparency, build trust, and release stress. It is another place of refuge in your during distressful times, especially for the spouse out of work.

Are you married and unemployed? Is your spouse unemployed, and you are the one carrying the financial load? Can you relate to any of these points?

Please share in the comments below.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Five Resources to Help Correct Resume Grammar Errors

It is critical to correct all résumé grammar errors. Résumés, cover letters, or any job-related need perpetual scrutiny to ensure an error-free document. The below resources can help anyone achieve perfection, or at least close to it.

Grammarly.com

Grammarly is an online grammar corrector that will identify more than 150 common errors if you purchase a paid subscription. Out of the many online grammar checkers, this checker will alert the writer to plagiarism issues. Grammarly offers detailed explanations of why corrections may need to be made, plus examples to compare. I had a chance to try the paid subscription version and found it to be worth the money (ok, I was privvy’d and received an exclusive deal to try it). It catches your usual “your and you’re,” “co-workers and coworkers,” and “it’s and its” errors. I did not expect it to offer extensive synonym suggestions, and catch small article errors. Grammarly sees bullet points as errors and is perfect for bloggers who won’t have to worry about Microsoft codes from Grammarly. I was also pleasantly surprised that it caught so many passive voice phrases. I consider it a superb tool for any writer, especially for writing a résumé.

Polishmywriting.com (After The Deadline)

After The Deadline is advantageous for shorter bits of writing, and not specifically for résumé writing. Although, it would be a strong complement to using any grammar and spell check, especially in catching passive voice errors. The limited correction suggestions are somewhat comparable to Word (Oh, the check puts accents on résumé. Just saying!).

The other issue in using this checker is the word suggestions for synonyms.

In this case, “identify” was underlined and ATD offered synonym replacements: find, name, and show. I suppose if you want additional simplicity in your writing it’s helpful, but for resumes may be a hindrance for keyword usage. I would still recommend it as a way to have a second pair of eyes you normally wouldn’t have.

The Elements of Résumé Style by Scott Bennett

Many résumé writers use this constantly, and I take it almost everywhere I go. I haven’t memorized all the latest trends or practices, and this book helps as a quick reference. It contains grammar usage rules, lists of action verbs, statements, position descriptions, and words and phrases to avoid.

This week, another résumé writer that I knew asked me an opinion on a résumé of the use of italics. I verified in Mr. Bennett’s book that italics is not a correct résumé practice unless you are citing a publication. Some résumé writers whine about how résumés are not true formal writing, as the rules suggests. The truth is that résumés lean towards, if not epitomize, formal writing rules. This book helps the writer hit the mark.

Strunk and White: The Elements of Style

This book is another travel companion I take anywhere that I work away from home. Most people who struggle with condensing sentences should skip right to the “Elementary Principles of Composition” chapter. This gives you the down and dirty in trimming the excess and unnecessary words. I’ll admit it is not an easy read, which is why studying it is futile.

This book can help concisely write highly technical passages. Although technical descriptions are lengthier than ordinary descriptions, the reader doesn’t need a book to read.

Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing

I recommend this publication because it is an entertaining version of Strunk & White with a palatable presentation. You can download her podcast tips on iTunes (there are at least 100 tips currently loaded). If you have high and middle school age children, they can benefit from listening to the podcasts.

The last three publications are small books you can carry around and are less than $10 through Amazon. You can find them at the library if you don’t want to purchase them, although I recommend buying each of them.

Oh Yeah, about the giveaway

Congratulations to Marlene Garth in winning a copy of the The 11 Laws of Likability by Michelle Tillis Lederman. However, I HAVE ANOTHER COPY to giveaway. You can win a copy by simply doing one of three things.

You can read my review of the book, and either comment on the review link, Re-Tweet the review link and add @MarkADyson, or post the review link on Facebook and tag me at Facebook.com/Mark.A.Dyson.

I would like to announce a new winner on Thursday’s post, so good luck to all. It is a valuable book for job seekers in expanding one’s thinking about networking for business and jobs. Being “liked” is the center of all successful transactions and partnerships, and Michelle offers workable strategies to achieve “likability.”

About Mark Anthony Dyson

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Book Review: The 11 Laws of Likability by Michelle Tillis Lederman

Michelle Tillis Lederman’s book, The 11 Laws of Likability, is for people to grow and establish entrepreneur relationship, and for the job seeker connecting with employers. Ms. Lederman is the founder and CEO of Executive Essentials, and adjunct professor at New York University Stern School of Business.

Her publishers, amacombooks.org, were kind enough to send me two (2) copies of the book to giveaway. I tell you how to get a free copy at the end of this post (I was not compensated for this review in anyway).

#1 The Law of Authenticity

Even the most extroverted person finds his or herself in uncomfortable situations. Lederman suggests that there are strategies to help reframe and attend critical but daunting events. This may mean connecting with smaller groups within the large groups.

#2 The Law of Self-Image

Lederman says to “frame a positive picture” to gain perspective. A part of the process she calls “internal framing” will help coach yourself to think positively about your strengths and skills set. “External framing” takes your thoughts and put them to words by sharing with others for validity.

#3 The Law of Perception

Two key quotes from this chapter for job seekers:

“…the best and mot innovative collaborations are the most likely to happen between people whose styles diagonally opposite…”

Editor’s note: Jobseekers who can apply this to interviews, focus on their contributions, and not become sidetracked by personalities will have a strong mental perspective.

#4 The Law of Energy

Lederman states that “Energy has Power” has an impact on people, when they grasp the energy around them. She illustrates in the chapter how the lack of understanding can frustrate, confuse, and misguide your intentions. Editor’s note: Job seekers should prepare to talk about the attributes that will clearly and succinctly shed the best light on their career.

#5 The Law of Curiosity

Lederman says that,

Curiosity of two people will uncover the myriad of things they have in common. Then a mutually rewarding relationship will blossom.

She also provides sound advice for building blocks for strong conversations while getting to know people.

#6 The Law of Listening

Lederman suggests three levels of listening: Listen In, Listen Out, and Listen Intuitively. One of the best quotes in the book she states,

The key with intuitive listening is not to assume your interpretation of what the person is ‘saying’ is correct.

Editor’s note: Job seekers must clarify the interviewer’s inquiries if there is doubt or a lack of information. Ask questions, and be direct.

#7 The Law of Similarity

Lederman advises that “People like people like them.” When we uncover our similarities, opportunities for lasting authentic connections take place.

#8 The Law of Mood Memory

Body Language aligns what you say with what you do. Non-verbal messages must remain consistent with your speech.

#9 The Law of Familiarity

Lederman spends adequate time talking about social networking. She says an effective strategy is to deepen the connections made on social media. Lederman says she has spoken to everyone on Linked In at least by phone at least once.

#10 The Law of Giving

In this chapter, she provides two mindsets that job seekers can use effectively:

Do because you can give first. Giving creates value. It doesn’t always mean exerting major effort or making grand gestures.

Don’t underestimate your ability to bring value to someone else.

#11 The Law of Patience

This ties into #10 about giving and patience that “…good things will come back to you.” Friendships and productive working relationships take time to develop. Editor’s note: Networking relationships do not happen over night. Through giving and patience, the doors will open to reach new levels in time.

I highly recommend to buy her book, The 11 Laws o Likability, and to follow her on Twitter ( @mtlederman) for her little doses of wisdom. Her website is http://www.michelletillislederman.com/ and you can purchase book through amacombooks.org. The official date of publication is next Thursday, and on that same day, I will post the interview I had with Ms. Lederman on this blog.