Networking - The Voice of Job Seekers

Your Spouse Can Help With The Holiday Job Search

Do you and your spouse attend holiday gatherings held by one another’s friends and families? No? Please, reconsider. This year, see it as an job networking opportunity, and not a waste of time. It is not a time to beg for contacts or a job. Don’t use this time to survey. It is a time to become familiar with a readily available contact pool.

No expectations other than having some productive conversations. Here are my suggestions for having subtle but significant social conversations.

It’s 80-90% about them

People love talking about themselves and their successes (notice I did not say problems). Ask him or her how did they reach this part of their success? Ask them questions related to their training and responsibilities. What makes them tick? Be sure to learn first and last names, and ease up on Mr. Walker, please.

The other 10-20% is barely about you

Again, begging and pleading is a turn-off. However, helping has value that keeps giving beyond the holidays. Yes, see if there are ways to help during a party! Less is more, and when done with caution, you can dictate the terms of engagement. (Hint: If I feel welcomed by the host, and gotten to know them well enough, I volunteer to help with…garbage. Proceed with caution.) Ultimately, you can ask for more information away from the gathering preferably after the holiday.

Your spouse can go to bat for you

If you hit it off with your spouse’s co-worker, then he or she can relieve you of the grunt work. It doesn’t matter if the person will refer you to a different company or the same, co-workers unless adversaries will talk. Talk with your spouse before the party to help him or her understand that you are partying with a purpose. If your spouse is uncomfortable with that, DON’T do it!

These same rules apply to family and other social gatherings. As long as you don’t come across desperate, you can find untapped resources from the people you party with during the holidays. If you are successful in finding someone generous enough to give you names, numbers, and more still follow-up sooner than later by thanking them. A phone call is appropriate, but sending them a thank you gift is too friendly. Remember, subtlety.

I should mention that the holidays are opportunities waiting to happen. It’s slower, and call Human Resources may not be the egg hunt that occurs during non-holidays, particularly after January 1. So use the slow period to your advantage, it is the best time to network.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

The Wrong Way to Brown Nose Future Employers

I wonder about the department that hired Raheem. He didn’t possess the right skills for the position. But they hired him any way. When you can’t deliver a sustained competent job performance for your co-workers, it becomes ugly. Fast. Yeah, they fired Raheem.

Raheem got the job where he wanted through networking. He had a positive approach and landed a promotion. There. That would be the bottom-line, but he kissed up to his potential employer. Lots of kissing up. Sucking sounds as in suck-up. Sloppy sounding kissing-up.

Compliments.

“What can I do for you?”

He laughed at lame jokes.

Agreed with everything that was said.

Tried too hard to be friends with everyone in that department.

Once he sent a voicemail blast wishing everyone a great weekend. My friend thought it was great until you heard the quality of the recording, and the fact that he didn’t mention anybody by name. When she saw the light, the saw the forest and trees too.

None of his sucking up was authentic. When people see a fake, it becomes ugly. Fast.

The take-a-ways from this post:

It is never worth selling your soul for a position by being a “Yes” man or woman
Anyone who leaves his or her integrity at the front door, and leaves value. Be explicit in what you can and cannot deliver

He frequently visited our managers to ask how to do spreadsheets , powerpoint presentations, and other duties he did not have the skills for his new department. They helped him for a short time, but they too saw the light. Without going into great detail of how Rahiem was sucked up into a new job, he could not deliver the daily goods. But let me backup second to paint a picture of how I think the interview must have went. Check out this episode of That 70’s show where Eric Forman interviews for a Burger Place.

image credit

The frequent calls to that department, asking to hang out was painful. This was not networking. This turned into shameless requests, and begging. Two years this lasted. The sound of slurping on the phone with them. You can mistaken a sucking sound of a lollipop for as much as talked to them. He unleashed flurries of complimentary adjectives to them, and about them daily. He had no shame. Everyone in the company knew he wanted a job with this one department.

He had lunch with them daily. Not anyone could have lunch with them daily. Nor can anyone infiltrate this department’s fraternal bond. He did.

Rahiem performed decently, as I was the one of the go-to guys in the department, I saw his work frequently. I had no reason to unfairly critique his work. I tried to treat everyone the same, even if he or she kissed-up as means of a promotion.

Rahiem started as a contract employee in the Customer Service Center. From day one, he had aspirations to go elsewhere. And there is nothing wrong with that. All of us knew that customer service was a temporary entry point for some, and a long tenure for others.

Rahiem is hard to dislike, but as a professional brown-noser he made my head hurt. I worked with Rahiem for a few years, and really, his approach was beyond the bounds of nepotism. He had one objective: to suck-up his way to a promotion. Maybe you know Rahiem. You may know Raher, Rahiem’s twin.

I told this story backwards. I found it more interesting to tell the ending first, so that people avoid being Raheim or Raher. Just be you!

About Mark Anthony Dyson

by Mark Anthony Dyson

This 43 Year Old Job Seeker Fired Her Friends First

Diane is a 43-year-old job seeker and client that I see now and then. Diane in intentional, organized, and a bit of nerd. She is in no rush to find another job, even after leaving her nursing position, as her boss stated that her services were no longer needed. Unlike many who are let go, she was at peace leaving a job she loved.

Diane was not short on support from her best girlfriends, although, it wasn’t the kind she desired. Toby, one her best long-time girlfriends said, “Girl, I would be upset if that were me. I would cry, scream, yell, and be depressed. They were so wrong in firing you girl.” Toby could not comprehend that Diane left amicably.

Diane celebrated her departure, and never mourned the loss of her job. She visited family, served them, loved them, and cared for them. She works out, got in shape, and looks at least ten years younger. She was taking care of herself.

Another best girlfriend Charlie said, “Diane, how can you be so calm when your child is in college, and you don’t have a job? Girl, aren’t you feeling desperate about now? Shouldn’t you be hitting the street? Shouldn’t you receive unemployment by now?” Charlie couldn’t comprehend that Diane is at peace, and has moved on.

Diane had some savings and is quite secure with her situation. She even joked that only her parents and I understood her goals. Everybody else seems more desperate about Diane’s situation than Diane.

Diane and I have very relaxed coaching sessions, even once when she was on vacation in Miami over the phone (by the way, she was on vacation by herself). Diane determined to step-up her job search– when Diane was ready (she was on vacation by herself).

Sharon was Diane’s lifelong friend, also a nurse was hired and let go by the same doctor a year before Diane left. Sharon said, “Girl, I am suing this man for everything he has! I am going to make him pay! He was wrong! He hurt my career! We should sue him together!” Diane listened to her friend rant about revenge for several days. She called me a couple of days later to request an emergency coaching session over the phone.

Diane: I decided that I need to make three major changes in my life before I start job hunting.

Me: Three? (At that moment, I thought she was going to cancel the rest of her coaching sessions)

Diane: Yes. I am searching for three new friends. I have fired Toby, Charlie, and Sharon. Can I do that?

Diane has since employed new friends, and she has stepped up her job search efforts, as a happier job seeker.