How do you know that the thrill has gone from your romantic relationship? An easy way to tell is that it FEELS like your stalking. There are ties between relationships, holidays, and your job search. What you did during the year can dictate how the holiday fares.

Oh yeah, it’s the holiday season, too. This could suck badly.

You are the only one calling, texting but no reciprocation, and impatient, so you repeat the cycle. Your job search lacks excitement. Without leads, it became a chore or an obligation, perhaps that you took for granted. The feeling is similar to a dating or marriage relationship.

The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong baby
And you’ll be sorry someday

~B.B. King, The Thrill Is Gone

May I suggest that some of those signs exist in your job search? You have hope in a process that doesn’t exist, or should I say effort that didn’t exist.

Let’s see, there is the whole she-says-that-she can’t-go-out-on-the-weekend-thing. Or maybe, in certain terms, he or she said they were not interested in a way you didn’t expect. Or they were no longer interested in your approach.

So has the thrill gone out of your job search yet? Don’t know? Well, here are signs that your job search is fading.

1. You no longer admit a job search exists

Oh, we’re no longer dating, you say. You just haven’t told him. Well, it’s like all the social media profiles that have gone untouched. It takes time and effort. Together. It doesn’t exist because you are not initiating contact with employers. Stop relying on the machine to do the work.

2. You can’t wait to do your own thing

A night with the girls for the third time this week speaks volumes. And if you think that your networking-less efforts will be career-fulfilling, then ask her again why she hasn’t spent time with you. Because YOU are boring! That covers both job and relationship dilemmas now, doesn’t it?

3. “We were never lovers…just friends.”

She likes your company, and you make her laugh. But that’s it, she likes you only as a friend. There should be some affection from your job search. A kiss on the lips is like getting an interview rather than a kiss on the cheek in the form of a five-minute phone behavioral assessment. Otherwise, you were just a friend.

4. They take you for granted

No more gifts, cards, or little notes for you. Ok, you received one little note once. It’s not the small meaningful but affectionate expression he or she used to offer. Little things like thank you, you’re welcome, and please mean so much when meeting people is a small window of opportunity. If your job search spirit is gimme, gimme, lemme, gimme, most of the time, you take people for granted without consciousness. Give. Give without strings attached. Be wise, but you are showing a willingness to help.

5. Both of you were on the rebound.

He wants his old girlfriend back, and she can’t get over her old boyfriend. The familiar little ditty in the way your old job made you feel because it was special, and your achievements inspired others to treat you like a superstar. The reality is that they have moved on, and it’s hard to accept. Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you?

And it’s giving you the holiday blues because…

In my experience, I’ve gotten hired or started more jobs during the month of November and December. The holidays will be depressing if we take the accumulation of what I mentioned above. Multiply by ten if you have friends who are changing jobs because they sought out a promotion and salary jump. Experts will tell you this is the best season to get hired, but it will seem monumental if you haven’t done the right things.

Perhaps your job search is not interesting, so no one from an employer’s perspective is interested. When that happens, the thrill is gone. How do you know the thrill has gone out of your job search? What are ways you can get it back?

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.

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