Mark Anthony Dyson, Author at The Voice of Job Seekers

Dads, Talk With Your Son About His Future Career, After The Sex Talk

The future career talk during teen years is critical. I would like to proclaim that we as “Dad” have a “relationship” talk instead of a “sex” talk with our sons. Both jobs and sex are about relationships, and as Dads, we need to help our sons with building relationships. Our women will love us a little more. Not to mention the similarities that we should no longer ignore, nor disassociate from the main bridge between the two.

Careers are largely about the relationships we build. We have to be liked, but in different ways, without it being about us. Relationships are not about sex, but sex is about the relationship. I didn’t appreciate it until I was married for some time, and I like other Dads, learned this the hard way.

Here are several reasons of my own that relationships make the career, dating, and marriage intertwined:

Relationships and careers require respect and like, giving first, then earning the receipt of it. As a baby boomer, we grew up with a chauvinistic view of women, and the synonym was being macho. In this day and age, I am the caveman. Without validation, it sprinkled on my boys. If we fathers do not teach our boys to respect and like Mom, we have failed to help them with their future relationships with co-workers, bosses, girlfriends, wives, and in-laws.
Both require longitudinal planning. Just because we had short relationships and careers, doesn’t mean our sons have to experience the same. Help them to plant seeds, not just build a shelter. A healthy plant requires cultivation over time. Relationships and careers need the same cultivation, not just when we need something from someone.
Neither relationships or careers are about you. You are going to give more than you get, and receive a portion in return if you’re successful. If you are getting more, then respond by giving more than the other person.
Both have difficult and complex issues. Careers and relationships should be handled with truth and responsibility. Our teen boys need training in handling conflicts, unfairness, and tragedy with grace, courage, and truthfulness. If lying and deceit develops into a pattern early, it is so hard to un-train it (but it can be done). As Dads, if we have a problem with honesty, then it is hard for us to detect it in our kids. This is where we need to be humble and pass the baton to the women in our lives.
Mishandling careers and relationships can tear your life apart. As my working, college-bound son makes career defining decisions at 17 years old, he needs the training from me. He received his first college acceptance, and has more work experience than knowledge about girls. The work challenges are intriguing, but we talk a lot about how to handle them. Dads need that conversation often, at least once a week, even if for a few minutes each. They need to know how to handle work and relationships equally. As Dads, mistakes are training opportunities, and teachable moments that need immediate attention. Be there to catch them when they stumble or fall.

Train your sons character, and not just the behavior. The best lessons are hard to digest, and trying to control him will only breed rebellion in the long run. Being successful for years at a time takes a man who is accountable, dutiful, and skillful at relationships and career. The best lesson is failure, so as a Father, teach them to learn from failure. .

What are you struggling with in having these talks? Feel free to share them with us by commenting below.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Forgivable and Unforgivable Job Interview Mistakes

Job interview mistakes are correctable, even if it feels that it’s the worst thing that could happen. Career consultants all over the U.S. are warning you not to fall through the trap door if there is a typo on your résumé. We have your best interest at hard, and I want to comfort you.

If you make a mistake, correct it, even if nothing will come of it. The main reason: doing a good job requires accepting responsibility, correcting the error, and not repeating the same error.

The Forgivable

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1. You’re late, you’re late, for a very important date. Again? Dang?

The Fix: Call and confirm that it matters that you come anyway. It would be tragic if you were late to the second interview, but mostly, it is a forgivable error.

If it is a habit, then you should read this article, “You’re Late—Again,” from Good Housekeeping, May 2008 where the writer, Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist says what lateness says to others:

“I feel anxious” Many people make themselves late, whether once or repeatedly, when heading to a job or to meet friends, because they feel apprehensive or stressed. It’s as if deep, unresolved emotions are acting as resistors in the mind’s circuitry, redirecting us away from the source of our discomfort.

“I’m showing who’s in power” It’s one thing to think, We’re good friends. If I’m a few minutes late it won’t matter. It’s quite another to think, She knows I’m busier than she is. It isn’t a big deal if she waits a few minutes for me to yet there. People who use lateness to signify they are special or more powerful than those they keep waiting may not plan to show up late, but there’s often a quiet running commentary at the back of their mind suggesting that others will–and really should–wait for them.

“I need to know I’m loved”

(Albrow, 2008)

2. Forget to bring your resume to the interview. And you forgot your brain too.

The Fix. By now if you don’t have a Dropbox, Linked In, or Google Docs account (there are others), then get one. You can park a copy of your résumé there. It is accessible from anywhere, and if the host has MS Word, it is easily downloadable, or at worst, email it to the interviewer. If not, ask if you can email a copy later that day.

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3. Rain, sleet, snow, hail arrived while you were on the way to the interview. Stain on your suit. Caught in a mudslide.

The Fix. Continue on your way, and call ahead to the employer informing them of what happened. Calling diffuses the possible tension of the situation, and you will be pleasantly surprised how positive the experience turns out.

4. You spilled water on the table, ran into an employee and spilled coffee all over their clothes, or farted during the meeting.

The Fix. Apologize, apologize and apologize profusely. Don’t be surprised that there is mirth found at your expense. A little self-deprecating humor would work, but just a little. Remember the best have made job interview mistakes. And they move on knowing the next opportunity erases the last mistake.

The Unforgivable

The egregious use of sarcasm, or a hint of profane language. This is a turn-off to people who influence hiring. What you say is everything in an interview, don’t blow it.
Talking negatively about your past employers, especially to make yourself look good. This tactic never has a positive outcome, even if the past job was the competition. It is better to show how bad you were at one time, and how you corrected your path to achieving desired results.
Any use of a cell, for any reason, at any time. No distractions needed at all, and even while waiting, show restraint.
You were caught in a lie. Oh, there are no words. You lose.

Are there mistakes that you made before, during, or after interviews that you regret? Were you forgiven? Comment below, and share them with the rest of the world!

About Mark Anthony Dyson

by Mark Anthony Dyson

When Family Hates The Career Path You Are Passionate About

People blame someone’s career path for break ups, or distancing them from love ones daily. The reality is that people separate themselves a career path. Your spouse may appear supportive about your career, but they abhor the effect it has on them.

You can have both a career passion and a strong marriage. It is the family’s burden to have one or the other. Success is contingent on comprehending the signs, and responding to them positively within the wishes of your loved ones. Listening to what family says, and communication forms the willingness to change, or see the writing on the wall:

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Your family hates your long hours and work life more than your job duties. I thought for a while that husbands are solely guilty of this, but over time, both spouses contend for understanding from each other. Listening is the best tool ever to discern what your spouse wants. Remember it’s the both of you sojourning this career path.
Your spouse may hate what your career does to you. Listen for symptoms that your spouse says about you, even as a joke or in passing: cranky, despondent, tired, disengaged, off into his or her own world, and emotional. These are symptoms, not the root of what your spouse is saying.
It is evident that job perks are more attractive that the job. Perks are acceptable when time and salary positively benefit everyone, but when it compromises and separates the family, it is a problem. If you are holding on to a career because of a perk, it’s time to find a new one.
When work is an issue that sacrifices family time. There is a time that work will need to be put to the side. Your bottom line intention is to feed your family. Unfortunately, undisciplined intentions interfere with family time, and family cohesion.
Neither you or your spouse has discussed the issue. If your spouse is building a separate life without you, it’s a serious problem. When both spouses are conflict avoiders, the behavior breeds anger. It says something about you, and more often the point of no return. You have to be the one to engage, listen, and change if this is unacceptable to you.