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Cheat on Your Job With Your Spouse #5: Teamwork

Teamwork is the bullet proof shield of your marriage as it is of your career. The more you function as a race car or a horse carriage wagon your life quality is optimized.

It comes at a price. You. Forget about you (most of the time). It has to be intention. It has yet to occur by accident for sustained periods of time. There’s strategy. It must be in your soul.

You must place others needs before your own first before tending to yourself. It will cost you. It will seem exhausting. The rewards are never-ending, and neither will the thanks you will get years down the line.

I’d like to suggest 5 ways to work as a team with your Spouse and coworkers:

1) Look for opportunities to exceed the expectations to give without being thanked adequately or at all. People are drawn to it and the people who like you will reciprocate…at their pace. But don’t expect them to announce your name, praise you, and talk about you incessantly.

It’s more likely your spouse will respond to this level of unselfishness through the years, but not always at first. You are in a great space when you are competing to out serve the other. It’s hard to sustain it, but it’s heavenly when you’re in the moment. It’s great if coworkers immerse in this dynamic.

2) Extend your servitude to friends and family. My wife is thrilled when I initiate helping her parents or siblings, and at times, will fore go her needs to be sure the extended family is taken care of first.

Surprisingly, your coworkers may have partners that benefit from the trickle down effect too. This extends your value and could be useful to you down the line.

3) Find value in teamwork when it’s hard

People in general are not thankful when he or she only thinks of self. It’s worse when people what to take advantage of you. This is where you hit the brakes and have conversations with ungrateful people why you do what you do. Listen to them for truth.

You must do your job or fulfill your responsibilities completely for this suggestion to work.

4) Be honest, straightforward, and tactful

People will be hurt by the content of what you say, but said tactfully starts the healing. If you’re saving a life at that point, tact is an option. Spouses can build a very healthy relationship through truth, even if it crushes them. The proverb, “A gentle word can break a bone…” is still relevant.

The other side is that if you hold back the truth there will be damage, and at times, irreparable. At work, coworkers label peers as critiques and negative because they are honest frequently and lack tact. Good managers will help them deliver their opinions in a more thoughtful manner. Apathetic managers lack listening skills to see what they are saying has validity.

5) Respect and gratitude without hesitation

I don’t see anything positive or appropriate about disrespect. Not in marriage or managing a subordinate. What’s worse is disrespect expressed publicly to another person? Probably castration, but they are relatively equal, aren’t they?

No matter the sacrifice there’s the gratitude that needs to be expressed after victory. And we do it again the next day, hour, or minute as if we learned something new.

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by Mark Anthony Dyson

Careers, Your Brain, and Fulfillment: Josh Gibson, M.D.(AUDIO)

Josh Gibson, M.D. is a psychiatrist in private practice in San Francisco and an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF). His clinical work focuses on the neurobiology of relationships. Prior to becoming a psychiatrist, he was a senior consultant for Andersen Consulting (now Accenture), specializing for nearly five years in process re-engineering, organization development, and education design and delivery. He consulted to multiple Fortune 500 companies in the retail, financial services, and healthcare industries and now works directly with executives regarding relationship issues in the workplace.

Dr. Gibson approached me to review Careers–A Brainwise Guide to Finding Fulfillment at Work as it would fit this blog for job seekers. I was intrigued by what five psychiatrists would have to say about careers. The book is published by the Group for the Advancement of Psychiatry, a non-profit organization I found the book to give sound career advice with a good balance of how we think and what would apply. It is also entertaining as the photos associated with each section had to swig of mirth. It made it much more palatable inspiring me to give away a couple of copies (thanks Dr. Gibson) at random to commenters who listened to our conversation. If you don’t get a copy, no worries, it is only 99 cents on Amazon.

Here is an outline of our conversation:

Dr. Gibson shared how the projecting cam about and the goal with this offering this perspective
A significant section of the book I thought was at risk. In the book, he said, “Fulfilled people seem to intuitively understand that “happiness” shares a common root with the words hapless” and “haphazard.” Is there a difference between an unfulfilled person’s attitude toward his or her career versus a fulfilled person? He gave us specific examples of this.
I shared that in my coaching sessions with job seekers, I try to purge the desperation out of the search. I asked, “Perhaps defining where people are in life as far as fulfillment will tell me how far they go in finding a job?”
I asked, “Does our brain decide how much risk we can handle, or whether we are fulfilled enough to risk rejection or the unknown?”
We talked about the connection between fulfillment and failure and whether it was necessary and why

If you wish to know more about Dr. Gibson’s work, you can contact him through http://www.careersthebook.com/ or http://www.joshgibsonmd.com/

Please, enjoy our conversation!

by Bianca Thompson

When HR Fires You From Your Job While Crying

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No one wants to actually think his or her value is such that their company can function without them.

Be it you screwed up, or restructuring, business conditions, outsourced, or whatever fancy term Human Resources has decided to use for termination due to no fault of your own.

The bottom line is you are without a position and a paycheck.

I was all cried out…

I must admit that this is the absolute worst part of Human Resources’ duties. I personally used to cry before and after during our layoffs. I even created the most heinous HR offense of crying during the exit interview with someone being terminated. Can you imagine being terminated by HR and they’re crying during the entire meeting?

I think this was one of my worst moments as an HR professional. What happened? Why did I fall apart? It’s simple. I took my company’s actions personal for whatever reasons. It caused an overflow of feelings and emotions that I could not control and hence it lead to me crying during the employee’s exit interview.

I got help…and a plan

I am grateful to have had an amazing life coach that helped me with my view of layoffs. After I explained to him my crying offense, he made one statement that changed my view of how I approach layoffs. He told me that my energy of how I conduct the exit interview plays a huge role in how the terminated employee will go out into the world for their next adventure.

If my energy is sad and angry, I push that nonsense off onto the unwilling employee. Well, Sassy HR Girl had to basically check herself and come up with a new plan for these unwanted and undesirable meetings. What’s my point in sharing this with you? We all need to have a plan for that unwanted and undesirable meeting.

What to ask for when it’s time to get the chop whether fired, laid off, or whatever the term is coined at the time. Companies vary in what they will provide. Do your research and use the below as a guide and NOT the law.

• Decide on whether you want to resign, or get fired. This may seem like an odd issue, but there are circumstances when you may wish to resign instead of being fired. If you are fired, you may be eligible for unemployment compensation, benefits, and severance pay. However, you may choose to resign rather than have the stigma of “getting fired” on your record. (You will need to disclose that you were fired if you are asked that specific question on a job application. If you resign, you can answer “no” to the question.) In some instances, you may even be asked to resign rather than be fired. Make sure you carefully consider the pros and cons of each response before making your decision. For example, you may not be able to collect unemployment benefits if you resign.

• Inquire about severance and outplacement assistance. Now is the time to negotiate, but don’t be pressured to sign anything if you’re not ready. Some employers won’t release your final paycheck until you sign a release, but that doesn’t mean you need to sign anything right away. Find out what’s available to you. Don’t be afraid to ask for severance.

• Ask how reference checks will be handled. What will a prospective employer be told if they contact the company? Will your supervisor provide you with a letter of recommendation? Can he or she take calls for reference checks, or are those handled through the HR department? What information will be released to the prospective employer? (Some companies will only verify dates of employment, job title, and final salary and will not answer questions related to why you are no longer working for the company.)

• Find out about your benefits. You may be entitled to accrued vacation, overtime, and/or sick pay. Ask about these benefits, and how they will be paid out.

• The company should provide you with information about continuing your health insurance coverage under the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA) law. If the company has more than 20 employees, your employer is required by law to offer health insurance coverage through COBRA to terminated employees for up to 18 months. However, you will need to pay for this coverage yourself. This gives employees and their families the option to continue group health benefits provided by your health plan for a limited period of time. (Keep in mind, however, that the cost of COBRA coverage may be higher than insurance you obtain for yourself; however, if you have a health condition, you may want to opt for COBRA coverage initially to keep your coverage in force. You can always cancel your COBRA coverage once you have new insurance in place.)

• Information on transferring your retirement account with the company, if you have one. If you are enrolled in a 401(k), profit sharing, or other type of defined contribution retirement plan, you may be eligible for a lump sum distribution of your retirement money when you leave the company. You need to be careful about how you handle this distribution so that you don’t incur tax penalties. Retirement plan distributions have very specific requirements, so you may wish to consult a financial advisor before doing anything.

• Find out how — and when — you will receive your final paycheck from the company. (Again, you may be required to sign some paperwork before the final check is released.)

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No one’s exempt, not even the successful

Absolutely no one is exempt from a layoff or termination for cause. Last month George Zimmer, the founder of Men’s Wearhouse, was terminated. If the founder of a company is not exempt, why in the world would any of us think we are exempt from our company’s hatchet?

Not only was Mr. Zimmer the founder, his very distinct voice and slogan has been branded into our minds. When you hear that voice and slogan, you immediately think of the Men’s Wearhouse. It was absolutely brilliant marketing. Please note that management wanted to move in a different direction despite past successes.

This new direction did not include Mr. Zimmer. I have witnessed devastation on the faces of employees that believed they were exempt from termination either due to their past successes or perceived talent. My point is simple. You and I are not exempt.

We can get the big chop by our company whenever the company chooses. Don’t spiral into depression and panic as this should not be a shock given today’s economy. Consider this a simple tap on the shoulder as a reminder to have some type of plan in place should you be called to an exit interview for termination.

Discussion questions:

What did you do when you were laid off?

What did you do when you anticipated layoffs?

What help did you seek when you were laid off?

Please, let’s talk about it below in the comments section.

Wednesday, July 17: 3 Stories of Jobseekers Surging to Re-emerging From Job Layoffs