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Don’t Let Negative Feedback Derail Your Job Search

Editors note: Ivy Exec partners with The Voice of Job Seekers in exchanging monthly content. Look for the interview with a member of the executive team in the next two weeks.

We all love to get positive feedback when we do something well. It makes us feel great about ourselves. But when it comes to looking for a job, you sometimes get more than your fair share of negative feedback. And that can be hard to deal with. We often tend to hone in on the criticisms others offer. These criticisms can seem to outweigh and overshadow the many positive things people have said with virtually the same breath.

At Ivy Exec we bring resources and talent to help individuals with their job searches. While you’re searching for a job you receive feedback on your resume, interviews, and/or your overall job search. We have definitely noticed that if you’re in a prolonged job search, the negative feedback can add up and weigh you down. It can make you lose that spring in your step, procrastinate over applying for positions, hesitate to work your network, and overthink your next interview so much that it goes flat.

While the details vary for each job seeker, we’ve found a number of overarching themes that will help you process and overcome negative feedback. Here are some specific ways to deal with feedback during your search so you can fully focus on getting that dream job without breaking your stride:

WHO gives the feedback matters!- If a hiring manager or recruiter is giving you advice, their comments carry extra weight with regard to a particular position and your overall job search. However, if the person giving the feedback does not know your industry, or hasn’t searched for a job for a long time, then be cautious about implementing their advice. It just might not be as relevant for you.
Do not take feedback personally… – If you do get “constructive” feedback on your search, do not let it affect you negatively and burst your bubble. Searching for a job is only one aspect of your life. It does not define the whole YOU. In these times it is the norm, rather than the exception, for people to go through multiple job searches over the course of their careers. The important takeaway is to discard the unhelpful feedback, absorb the useful input, try to implement it, and keep moving forward.
Ask questions…many questions! – This will help you obtain more specifics on areas that need work, clarify any input that is “murky,” and will clearly demonstrate that you are interested in improving. Actively asking questions will also help you probe and assess the validity of any criticisms. When you actively engage in questioning, the person giving you feedback may be more willing to work with you to implement the feedback, and to provide more input in the future. By questioning, you may well add a fan to your following, if not a mentor.
Counter the negative feedback with positive action… – You can prevent negative feedback from overwhelming you by focusing on things that are going well –either in your job search or in other parts of your life. Make sure that your job search doesn’t define your life and YOU. Keep it in perspective and make sure it isn’t the only thing you do, but just one of many. A great addition to your schedule would be adding regular exercise to your routine. Or, take that photography class you’ve always wanted to take, but couldn’t find time for. Invest some time and effort in your outward appearance to give yourself a boost of confidence. A haircut, a new suit, or even focusing on your posture will help you feel more confident when facing any negative feedback that may come your way.

Every one of us has had to face negative feedback in our lives. If it is merited, use it as a springboard to become even better at your job search. The next time you receive negative feedback, if it’s valid, meet it head on and make the most of it. Remember, it’s not what was said that matters in the long run. It’s what you did with it.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

7 Ways You Under-Value Your Career

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Two years ago, my parents had worked hard to obtain a quarter (the new quarters) from each state to give to my sons. They spent time reviewing quarters to ensure accuracy and asked their friends to trade the old quarters for the new. Then they asked if they could give it to the boys.

I told mom and dad to keep the quarters. As generous as it was for my parents diligently save the way they did , I told them the boys won’t appreciate it as much. Well, at least they wouldn’t value the quarters as I do and keep them until they increase in value over the years. I can see the boys spending them as they see it as casual money, or losing them, but the value of them is beyond the gratification of saving money. It would be wasted.

To put it simply, the boys weren’t ready to appreciate the time spent to get a new quarter representing each state. They see the value entirely differently. You know, splurge! The grandparents, of course, would be visibly disappointed.

Well, many job seekers don’t measure his or her career value. It’s the wall that separates you and the potential employer as a candidate that does not stand out. Employers are unlikely to spend any time to a job candidate who misunderstands his or her career worth.

That is how you should feel about your skills, experiences, and the knowledge you share anywhere. The following is showing you are selling yourself short:

No plan to be hired. Well it doesn’t look like you’ll be getting hired soon. Does anyone know you are looking for work? Can’t tell by your online profiles, nor your conversations. Frankly, you are not selling yourself at all. What a shame. You want a job but you give a quarter’s worth of professional value. C’mon now!
Not learning from one interview to the next. Or from one hiring process to the next. Think back through the interviews that you had and see if you communicated the extent of your personal menu. If not, the interviewer may not know you offer dinner, drink, and dessert.
No third-party validation. Have you received a quarter and given back change? Everyone needs third-party validation through letters of recommendation, through a mentor, or professionals telling you why he or she appreciates your work. Are you who do people say you are? Enlist people who can speak to your strengths and accomplishments.
No preparation. No research. Not researching what the trend in your career holds. There isn’t a career bible scripture that says that this is a sin, but there is this wall between you and a desired career because you don’t investigate position nor its qualifications. Find out exactly how much that quarter is worth. Maybe the value has changed.
Unused skills during unemployment. Volunteer. Help people. Look for opportunities to contribute by volunteering. The word “internship” is not a bad word either.
Your skills have never passed the stress test. Do you back down during great challenges? Do you rise to the challenges? Have you communicated that to potential employers? Share this as you put your super hero cape on when it’s time to sell yourself to people you network and others that can lead you to an interview.
Your bottom-line is salary. The way you negotiate also says something about you as an employee, and lose a job if only money matters. You miss opportunities to sell yourself based on skill set and capability because you offer yourself as a product rather than a service.

The ideal employer would understand that you would need a mutually gratifying opportunity. Not one that wouldn’t grow in value. Nor not one you would splurge or waste. Your value is not something you can attach a salary to it at the bottom line. Look at yourself and ask, “Do I offer value that employers expect to see?”

Do you understand the value you offer employers? I’d like to hear your thoughts. Please share in the comments section.

About Mark Anthony Dyson

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Your Teen, the High School Graduate, and Jobseeker

I’ve written about my son, “Boy Wonder,” and his adventures in working part-time at a famous retail in Chicago. He will be graduating in two months, earning Silver Honors for most of his high school career, lettering in several sports, and more important, quality character. The high school graduate must prepare for career worthiness. He or she is a job seeker in one form or another, and one time or the other.

I’m a proud dad who can only take partial credit. I will give my wife a little more credit because she gave birth, but “Boy Wonder” has two years of working experience and 18 in May. Boy Wonder accrued more than 100 service hours in the community, and does not blink at doing more in the future. In February, he earned scholarship funds because of his “excellence in academic and community service.” He has become career worthy.

This is a good time to start looking for a summer job for your teen, the job seeker, especially if he or she is 16 years old. A job seeker. Like it or not. Working before high school graduation is a necessity in our texting, Twitter, and Facebook society. The are vulnerable by not getting job experience.

I don’t agree with helicopter parenting when they are 23 and possessing a bachelors’ degree. You should be Air Force One upon eligibility when they can work at 16. Walk with them through every step of the employment process, teach them how to think, drink, and eat responsibility. Teach them how to dress appropriately for an interview, and later they will be sharp to get that first college internship.

Another reason for your teen, the job seeker, must work is their baptism in the fire of working relationships. You can tell them how to work with others in theory alone, and draw them stick figures of how to handle conflict, but until he or she experiences it, your bantering is in vain.

Character is something parents discuss, and experience in part with him or her, but only the teen can embody the lifelong gifts that these changes can bring:

Pride, self-esteem, and independence is appreciated more
Appreciation for your hard work
Emotional and physical maturity begins
Responsibility and accountability is regular
Focus on school work is self-motivated
Mature understanding of professionalism (not perfect, advanced beyond peers)
The respect from other adults for working and doing well in school (I’ve witnessed his display of manhood)

I have a longer list than this. Parents, you miss golden opportunities to train your teen to mature and gain character. Jobs will rarely be plentiful. YOU, are the best career coach available.