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Life can go awry when one partner is suddenly unemployed. Everything will be scrutinized, but will the relationship survive? There are times when life needs to be right before things change in unemployment land.
Whether a job seeker has chosen to be unemployed or is a victim of downsizing, no one is perfectly prepared for the imminence of mental, emotional, and spiritual warfare. There is no way to predict the outcome of how life will continue because of the fluctuation of today’s job market.
The ambitious people will want to do many things, but not the right things. Therefore, the universe and the stars should align if the objectives are clear, and the spouse does not harass you about fifty other household chores they like done upon arrival from work.
Changes
Now that time is in your hands. Things are left undone when you are a slave to the work rhythm. It is natural to feel loss, and mourning is a natural response to being unemployed. For many job seekers, the bulk of emotional support was from coworkers.
Since access to them will diminish (especially if you are married with kids), transitioning to exclude them from daily contact is a significant change. As the infrequency of contact becomes noticeable, the realization of detachment can be heartbreaking. There are some practical steps you can take to help you move forward:
- Less contact is good unless the work hooks you up with contacts, networking opportunities, or valuable job-finding information.
2. Do not let yourself be trapped by office gossip. You have better things to do with your time.
3. Share positively, be informative, and support is reciprocated.
Challenges
There will be intrinsic and extrinsic factors that will cause conflict for job seekers with families while unemployed. It is even more complicated if both partners are out of work and looking for jobs. Good communication is a work-in-progress but is difficult to forge and formulate. It takes time and honesty to share and clarify goals, needs and wants. Marrieds with children have the most difficulty deciding who will sacrifice their career and whose schooling is the priority.
One mistake couples make in communicating is each person’s perception of one conversation. Since feelings and priorities change like the direction of the wind, discussing each step often is critical to protect each other’s feelings. The challenge again is, to be honest about how you feel:
- How do you feel about your partner’s efforts to look for a job? Do you trust their approach to finding employment? Are they missing opportunities because of a lack of action?
- Do you feel that your partner should take the first opportunity offered? Do you want your partner to hold out until the best chance comes? Do you trust your partner’s judgment?
- What is each person willing to sacrifice? Salary? Time? What should each person’s role be?
Chores
People I have coached, mentored, or trained have problems with being late and lack organization. The job-related document, or an appointment, they have contracted the “late bug.” If a person looks like an episode of “Hoarders,” there is a problem.
Hearing the tone of, “…he’s unemployed for a reason…” is unfair, but unfiltered as unfair.
A life in disarray will result in a life enslaved by chaos. Not that anyone would get there on purpose, but some signs appear if it has not already:
- I AM forgetful of everything, such as car and home keys, passwords, cell phones, and phone numbers.
- I find house duties and job search responsibilities hard to prioritize on the same day.
- I am not handling criticism well nor inviting input.
Does your partner have a problem with your disorganization? With time on your hands (if you are out of work), this would be the best time to organize everything. Finances, job-related information, clothes, personal identifying documents, credit, and living are best cleaned and managed to help relieve the stress of unemployment and for your peace of mind.
Unemployed. This, too, will pass.
About Mark Anthony Dyson
I am the "The Voice of Job Seekers!" I offer compassionate career and job search advice as I hack and re-imagine the job search process. You need to be "the prescription to an employer's job description." You must be solution-oriented and work in positions in companies where you are the remedy. Your job search must be a lifestyle, and your career must be in front of you constantly. You can no longer shed your aspirations at the change seasons. There are strengths you have that need constant use and development. Be sure you sign up to download my E-Book, "421 Modern Job Search Tips 2021!" You can find my career advice and work in media outlets such as Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Glassdoor, and many other outlets.