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Interview with Michelle Lederman, author of The 11 Laws of Likability

Michelle Lederman has written a book that coincides with whom she is, and effortlessly offers advice that she epitomizes. I imagine if I wrote a book called, “How to be Huggable, Lovable, and Squeezable” people will have a pretty high expectation for me to be, well, lovable. I can assure you that I won’t write that book. There are several takeaways from this interview and The 11 Laws of Likability.

Linked In

One attribute that impressed me is her ability to connect with people online. When you look at her Linked In profile she has over 500 connections and has spoken to each person at least once. I asked her during our interview her thoughts on job seekers use of Linked In:

The Law of Authenticity

There are job seekers that I have coached over the years who attempt to become someone else whenever they interview, or during networking events. In Lederman’s book, she says that “Tapping into likability does not mean making everything all perky and bright and constantly being happy. On the contrary, she says to, “Take a deep breath and reconnect with that part of you that feels authentic and honest…”.

Approach People Where They Are

We also talked about how people can really hurt their networking success by approaching awkwardly that appears strategic. This could potentially wear out people who can be helpful. She says that you are “Networking for life, not just for now.”

Go Ahead, Google Yourself

Before I interviewed Ms. Lederman three weeks ago, I had known that she wanted job seekers to “Do enough research that you have a solid base of background knowledge, but don’t go overboard.” Listen to how she responded to me when I told her that I Googled her:

Overall, I have enjoyed talking with her, and tweeting with her. You can reach her via Twitter at @mtlederman and also check out her blog at michelletillislederman.com

DON’T FORGET

Friday is the last day to qualify for a copy of Michelle Lederman’s book, The 11 Laws of Likability. To qualify this week, comment below what you liked about this interview, or Re-Tweet this post via Twitter. I will announce the winner on Monday’s special afternoon post.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

The Dangers of Launching a Non-Competitive Job Search

In 2011, like today, competition for jobs –fierce! If you are not preparing for a competitive job search, then you plan to fail. If you don’t mind being ignored, maligned, or discarded then write, talk, and sound like everyone who wants the same job you do. Just keep using the same strategies, words, and font size on your résumé. Is this your plan to thrive, and arrive?

The Employment Doors Are Cracked Open, Not Wide Open

Employers are savvy in their approach to exclude low-hanging job seeker fruit. It’s not creative, but unqualified candidates are sifted like flour:

1. The unemployed are excluded from opportunities. If you read Catherine Rampell’s article July 26, 2011, outraged is what I felt:

A recent review of job vacancy postings on popular sites like Monster.com, CareerBuilder and Craigslist revealed hundreds that said employers would consider (or at least “strongly prefer”) only people currently employed or just recently laid off.

Rampell, C. (2011, July 26). New York Times.

2. Age and gender discrimination becoming hard to detect or prove.

However, employers are subject to sex and age discrimination laws, which are often implicated when someone is fired for being fat or unattractive. This is the argument being made in the lawsuit filed by the Resorts casino waitresses.

Rabiner, S. (2011, April 6). Findlaw.com

These instances are two of many concerns, depending on the individual’s willingness to compete. That means one must shed light on his or her best attributes to remain competitive.

The Fastest, Biggest, and Strongest is Not The Winner

It is easy to apply to a lot of jobs on Sunday morning in the job section. Well, it used to effective once upon a time because we believed job hunting was a numbers game. Times have changed.

No excuses are acceptable for incorrectly applying to jobs you qualify for or don’t fit. In either case, you’re disqualified. No reason for not researching company culture, or not addressing a cover letter to a person.

Are you the one who claimed to be Internet savvy on your resume? Mmmm…interesting.

Here is an excerpt from an article printed in The Dominion Post the demonstrates this point:

Thorndon Antiques and Collectables owner David Harcourt received 200 applications after advertising for a retail assistant in Wellington, but found that many of them were not really seeking the advertised job.

At least 30 applicants said they wanted to be a teacher or an artist.

“I suggest there are two possible ways for applicants to deal with this problem,” he said in an email to all 200 jobseekers. “One is to hide the fact that you don’t really want the job but are applying only because you have nothing better to do, or because you won’t get the unemployment benefit unless you make such applications.

“However, a far better course, in my view, would be not to apply at all.”

He thanked them all for applying but offered some further tips. He advised them to double-check spelling and grammar, avoid describing themselves as “bubbly” and include details on education.

“Many applicants said little or nothing about their schooling . . . I was rather dismayed at this, so here is some friendly advice from a complete stranger: if you have no or little education, go back to school now.”

One of the 200 applicants, Canadian Amanda Priebe, said she thought the response was outrageous, and she felt insulted at its “disrespectful, arrogant tone”.

Cowlishaw, S. (2011, July 5) Dominion Post

The Bottom Line: If You’re Not Conducting a Competitive Job Search, You Feel Entitled…sort of

I think that this writer wrapped up being competitive at least in interviews up very nicely:

How do you ace a job interview? Here are some tips.

Recognize that when you interview for a job, employers are looking for evidence of four things: your ability to do the job, your motivation, your compatibility with the rest of the organization, and your self-confidence. If you understand how all those things play into an interviewer’s questions (and an employer’s hiring decisions), you’ll have a better chance of getting hired.

Koonce, R. (1997). How to ace a job interview. Training & Development

There are too many other candidates with your qualifications, that possess “strong communications skills,” and has “an excellent track record.” How many of you display a professional Linked In profile? How many job seekers host a local 30-minute show on a college or National Public Radio spot in their city? Which one of you blogs or possess a website that displays knowledge and expertise?

I would say, very few.

You may think of others ways other than the suggestions above, and that’s OK. Just don’t forget that someone wants to finish if not ahead of you, but, instead of you.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Book Review: The 11 Laws of Likability by Michelle Tillis Lederman

Michelle Tillis Lederman’s book, The 11 Laws of Likability, is for people to grow and establish entrepreneur relationship, and for the job seeker connecting with employers. Ms. Lederman is the founder and CEO of Executive Essentials, and adjunct professor at New York University Stern School of Business.

Her publishers, amacombooks.org, were kind enough to send me two (2) copies of the book to giveaway. I tell you how to get a free copy at the end of this post (I was not compensated for this review in anyway).

#1 The Law of Authenticity

Even the most extroverted person finds his or herself in uncomfortable situations. Lederman suggests that there are strategies to help reframe and attend critical but daunting events. This may mean connecting with smaller groups within the large groups.

#2 The Law of Self-Image

Lederman says to “frame a positive picture” to gain perspective. A part of the process she calls “internal framing” will help coach yourself to think positively about your strengths and skills set. “External framing” takes your thoughts and put them to words by sharing with others for validity.

#3 The Law of Perception

Two key quotes from this chapter for job seekers:

“…the best and mot innovative collaborations are the most likely to happen between people whose styles diagonally opposite…”

Editor’s note: Jobseekers who can apply this to interviews, focus on their contributions, and not become sidetracked by personalities will have a strong mental perspective.

#4 The Law of Energy

Lederman states that “Energy has Power” has an impact on people, when they grasp the energy around them. She illustrates in the chapter how the lack of understanding can frustrate, confuse, and misguide your intentions. Editor’s note: Job seekers should prepare to talk about the attributes that will clearly and succinctly shed the best light on their career.

#5 The Law of Curiosity

Lederman says that,

Curiosity of two people will uncover the myriad of things they have in common. Then a mutually rewarding relationship will blossom.

She also provides sound advice for building blocks for strong conversations while getting to know people.

#6 The Law of Listening

Lederman suggests three levels of listening: Listen In, Listen Out, and Listen Intuitively. One of the best quotes in the book she states,

The key with intuitive listening is not to assume your interpretation of what the person is ‘saying’ is correct.

Editor’s note: Job seekers must clarify the interviewer’s inquiries if there is doubt or a lack of information. Ask questions, and be direct.

#7 The Law of Similarity

Lederman advises that “People like people like them.” When we uncover our similarities, opportunities for lasting authentic connections take place.

#8 The Law of Mood Memory

Body Language aligns what you say with what you do. Non-verbal messages must remain consistent with your speech.

#9 The Law of Familiarity

Lederman spends adequate time talking about social networking. She says an effective strategy is to deepen the connections made on social media. Lederman says she has spoken to everyone on Linked In at least by phone at least once.

#10 The Law of Giving

In this chapter, she provides two mindsets that job seekers can use effectively:

Do because you can give first. Giving creates value. It doesn’t always mean exerting major effort or making grand gestures.

Don’t underestimate your ability to bring value to someone else.

#11 The Law of Patience

This ties into #10 about giving and patience that “…good things will come back to you.” Friendships and productive working relationships take time to develop. Editor’s note: Networking relationships do not happen over night. Through giving and patience, the doors will open to reach new levels in time.

I highly recommend to buy her book, The 11 Laws o Likability, and to follow her on Twitter ( @mtlederman) for her little doses of wisdom. Her website is http://www.michelletillislederman.com/ and you can purchase book through amacombooks.org. The official date of publication is next Thursday, and on that same day, I will post the interview I had with Ms. Lederman on this blog.