Have you noticed the chasm between your proven track record and excellent communication skills that your résumé proudly touts yet does not stand out? Since your responsibilities do not include measurable, identifiable, or understandable skills, your résumé says everything, but “Hire Me!”

Sure you possess outstanding oral communication and writing skills. People may have told you that you can write, but you spelled communication with one “m!” The potential employer that is screening hundreds of potential candidates can attempt to talk to everyone that says you can write. Then again, the proof is right in front of him. Don’t worry, UPS is hiring for Christmas.

Perhaps you provide exceptional customer service, and everyone loves you so much that they don’t write you letters of appreciation, and never tell your boss how impressive your service was. How would an employer know other than to take you at your word?

A résumé that has typos like everyone else among 1000 resumes for 1, 2, or 3 positions would just be a lottery pick. Great for the state lottery, and the NBA draft, and for a job, right? Of course, the HR manager would rather file through lame resumes than circle the Bermuda Triangle or remain entangled between the Scylla and Charybdis.

Just to pick anyone who is generally qualified, your possible, potential, and dream employer will pick the résumé that had a clear focus combined with begging, pleading, and whining. The mixture of nonchalant-desperado-attitude-kind-of-employee would be a perfect fit.

I am impressed that you are the boss when the boss is gone! Tell me, how hard is it to decide to pass all difficult customers to…your boss. Or your boss’s boss? Or your boss’s, boss’s, boss? After all, all the those calls are appropriately transferred to upper management, and we can only guess they were 10, 100, 1000 a day.

All of this sounds good.  Will employers pay you enough money since you can change water to wine? That is gleaned, guessed, and extracted from the vagueness provided from your document.

No other words on a resume fit better than provide, manage, handle, ensure. How many keywords can really fit for the career that you want?

Don’t worry, numbers don’t matter. Quantity, quality, cost/time results or measures are only for those CEO positions. When you write on your résumé you were a leader, or a manager, and neglect to mention who you led or how many, a hiring manager see that you have done the job already. If you were a little more misleading and vague, applying for Czar, Pope, or King of the Jungle would be a great idea.

Resumes that trigger more questions than answers will get you that interview. Hiring managers supposedly have a high tolerance for ambiguity. That’s how they earn the enormous bucks, by their proven track record of circular filing your excellently communicated resume.

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