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Your Spouse Can Help With The Holiday Job Search

Do you and your spouse attend holiday gatherings held by one another’s friends and families? No? Please, reconsider. This year, see it as an job networking opportunity, and not a waste of time. It is not a time to beg for contacts or a job. Don’t use this time to survey. It is a time to become familiar with a readily available contact pool.

No expectations other than having some productive conversations. Here are my suggestions for having subtle but significant social conversations.

It’s 80-90% about them

People love talking about themselves and their successes (notice I did not say problems). Ask him or her how did they reach this part of their success? Ask them questions related to their training and responsibilities. What makes them tick? Be sure to learn first and last names, and ease up on Mr. Walker, please.

The other 10-20% is barely about you

Again, begging and pleading is a turn-off. However, helping has value that keeps giving beyond the holidays. Yes, see if there are ways to help during a party! Less is more, and when done with caution, you can dictate the terms of engagement. (Hint: If I feel welcomed by the host, and gotten to know them well enough, I volunteer to help with…garbage. Proceed with caution.) Ultimately, you can ask for more information away from the gathering preferably after the holiday.

Your spouse can go to bat for you

If you hit it off with your spouse’s co-worker, then he or she can relieve you of the grunt work. It doesn’t matter if the person will refer you to a different company or the same, co-workers unless adversaries will talk. Talk with your spouse before the party to help him or her understand that you are partying with a purpose. If your spouse is uncomfortable with that, DON’T do it!

These same rules apply to family and other social gatherings. As long as you don’t come across desperate, you can find untapped resources from the people you party with during the holidays. If you are successful in finding someone generous enough to give you names, numbers, and more still follow-up sooner than later by thanking them. A phone call is appropriate, but sending them a thank you gift is too friendly. Remember, subtlety.

I should mention that the holidays are opportunities waiting to happen. It’s slower, and call Human Resources may not be the egg hunt that occurs during non-holidays, particularly after January 1. So use the slow period to your advantage, it is the best time to network.

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Be Thankful For What You Got (It May Get You Hired)

Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac
Gangsta whitewalls, TV antennas in the back
You may not have a car at all
But remember brothers and sisters
You can still stand tall
Just be thankful for what you got.
Diamond in the back, sunroof top
Diggin’ the scene with a gangsta lean

—William DeVaughn, “Be Thankful”

Gratitude is the heart of any season, but rarely is it at the heart of adverse situations, especially to get hired. Whether unemployed or underemployed, one finds perspective in gratitude, and thus, a positive place for peace of mind.

The above song was a massive hit in my early teen years, in the early ‘70’s. The message is clear, instead of succumbing to envy with what you don’t have, appreciate what you do have. The complete version of the song is around 7 minutes long, and yet, the message is so effortless.

Be Thankful.

As teens, my friends and I focused on the gangsta (then it was “gangster”) white walls, the television in the car (anyone with a Cadillac with a T.V. in the back of your car, you have it made). Having things is not a sign of success anymore. What defines success for you?

Be thankful, for what YOU got.

As I think about it, the value of the message was not having the Cadillac at all. Just be thankful for what you got. Yes, be content in every possible circumstance.

Then there is the line in the song that is the essence of the message to me that I didn’t get when I was younger:

…you can still stand tall.

It’s hard to stand tall when you are shallow. Small meaning what you don’t have in your possession. Anxiousness derives from focusing on the thing you don’t have. The lesson is to appreciate what is in your hands whether it’s family, talent, or opportunity. Remember that it is not just a holiday obligation, but a year round responsibility.

Sincere gratitude is the overflow of the heart. When you can’t help prioritize the expression of gratitude, people love it. Approach people you come in contact with thankfulness.

No telling that this new attitude may help you stand out among many candidates.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

image credit

by Mark Anthony Dyson

Job Lesson From Dad: Son, Confidence Will Give You Life Right Now

Confidence, in my opinion, can serve two purposes in anyone’s career. While teens are working, or seek work, they need to know the difference between confidence, and cockiness. They hear words like swagger (“swagga” for some), and think by walking, talking, and thinking boastfully will exude an attractive persona to employers. This is true if the job description calls for intimidating the face-to-face opponent.

cock·y

¹ [kok-ee] Show IPA

adjective, cock·i·er, cock·i·est.

arrogant; pertly self-assertive; conceited: He walked in with a cocky air.

There was a phrase in the ‘50’s (so I’m told) for cocky young men as, “…he’s smelling himself.” A cocky young man is trying to compensate for weaknesses or missing key attributes. He wants to show the world what he has to offer is as good, or better, than anyone else’s.

con·fi·dence/ˈkänfidəns/

Noun:

The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: “we had every confidence in the staff”.
The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

trust – faith – reliance – belief – credit – credence

Confidence is like writing a check knowing that there is money in the bank. People can sense confidence, and people will likely trust a confident person. A confident teen has to be taught how use it to obtain opportunities, especially jobs. Even if, the failure is eminent, a confident person understands the breadth of his or her skills.

Confidence is Taught

Training and influence from parents (or parent) is essential for teen jobseekers. The employment background of the parent is moot since confidence has to come from a guided and clear place. The lack of this life lesson defiles an American dream, derails a generation, and maybe a future career. It’s a gift that will keep on giving, if a parent gives installs it like a hard drive on a computer.

Confidence is Caught

Once a compelling example is witnessed by an impressionable young man or woman, they believe it’s possible, especially if it is desirable. What’s cool is that it is a renewable part of survival and success. If it’s cut off, it grows back. If it shrunk, it resizes and never at times grows stronger. It becomes a part of the body like an arm or a leg, for a teen, or anyone else.

In conclusion, confidence serves two purposes for young jobseekers, particularly teen boys.

Confidence supplies the fuel, motivation, and purpose to sell and excel in any career. It encompasses every milestone of success, accomplishments, and growth up to that point. It is the only way he or she appears employable without a ton of experience.
Confidence is a shock absorber for failure. Crashing, falling, and imploding is part of the adult experience. These kids can’t grow up without knowing what the virtual bottom feels like.