People blame careers for break up, or distancing them from love ones daily. The reality is that people separate themselves from people, not careers. Your spouse may appear supportive about your career, but they abhor the effect it has on them.
You can have both a career passion, and a strong marriage. It is family burden to have one or the other. Success is contingent on comprehending the signs, and responding to them positively within the wishes of your love ones. Listening to what family says, and communication forms the willingness to change, or see the writing on the wall:
- Your family hates your long hours and work life more than your job duties. I thought for a while that husbands are solely guilty of this, but over time, both spouses contend for understanding from each other. Listening is the best tool ever to discern what your spouse wants.
- Your spouse may hate what your career does to you. Listen for symptoms that your spouse says about you, even as a joke or in passing: cranky, despondent, tired, disengaged, off into his or her own world, and emotional. These are symptoms, not the root of what your spouse is saying.
- It is evident that job perks are more attractive that the job. Perks are acceptable when time and salary positively benefit everyone, but when it compromises and separates the family, it is a problem. If you are holding on to a career because of a perk, it’s time to find a new one.
- When work is an issue that sacrifices family time. There is a time that work will need to be put to the side. Your bottom line intention is to feed your family. Unfortunately, undisciplined intentions interfere with family time, and family cohesion.
- Neither you or your spouse has discussed the issue. If your spouse is building a separate life without you, it’s a serious problem. When both spouses are conflict avoiders, the behavior breeds anger. It says something about you, and more often the point of no return. You have to be the one to engage, listen, and change if this is unacceptable to you.