Whether a job seeker has chosen to be unemployed, or is a victim of downsizing, no one is perfectly prepared for the imminence of the mental, emotional, and spiritual warfare. There is no way to predict the outcome of how life will continue because of the fluctuation of today’s job market. There is movement now, but pundits predict it will not last long.
Starting something and not finishing is a frustrating mission for anyone, but many job seekers will not seek an improved quality in fear of starting something he or she left unfinished–ultimately unemployed for a length of time.
The ambitious people will want to get many things done, but not the right things. Therefore, the universe and the stars should align if the objectives are clear, and the spouse does not harass you about fifty other household chores he or she likes done upon arrival from work.
Now that time is in your hands, there are things left undone when you were a slave to the work rhythm. It is natural to feel loss, and mourning is a natural response to being unemployed. For many job seekers, the bulk of emotional support was from coworkers.
Since, the access to them will be diminishing (especially if you are married with kids), transitioning to exclude them from daily contact is a significant change. As the infrequency of contact becomes noticeable, the realization of detachment can be heartbreaking. There are some practical steps you can take to help you move forward:
- Less contact is good, unless the working is hooking you up with contacts, networking opportunities, or valuable job finding information.
2. Do not let yourself be trapped by office gossip. You have better things to do with your time.
3. Share positively, be informative, and support is reciprocated.
There will be intrinsic and extrinsic factors that will cause conflict for job seekers with families while unemployed. It is even harder if both partners are out of work, and looking for jobs. Good communication is a work-in-progress, but is difficult to forge and formulate. It takes time and honesty to share and clarify goals, needs, and wants. Marrieds with children have the hardest time deciding who will sacrifice his or her career, and whose schooling is the priority.
There mistake couples make in communicating is each person’s perception of the one conversation. Since feelings and priorities change like the direction of the wind, discussing each step often is critical to protect each other’s feelings. The challenge again is honesty about how you feel:
- How do you feel about your partner’s efforts to look for a job? Do you trust his or her approach to finding employment? Is a he or she missing opportunities because of a lack of effort?
- Do you feel that your partner should take the first opportunity offered? Do you want your partner to hold out until the best opportunity comes along? Do you totally trust your partner’s judgment?
- What is each person willing to sacrifice? Salary? Time? What should each person’s role be?
People who I have coached, mentored, or trained have problems in being late lack organization. Job-related document, or an appointment, he or she has contracted the “late bug.” If a person looks like an episode of “Hoarders,” then there is a problem.
Hearing through the tone of, “…he’s unemployed for a reason…” is unfair, but unfiltered as unfair.
A life in disarray will result in a life enslaved by chaos. Not that anyone would get there on purpose, but there are signs that appear if it has not already:
- Forgetful of everything such as car and home keys, passwords, cell phones, phone numbers.
- Finding house duties, and job search responsibilities, hard to prioritize in the same day.
- Not handling criticism well, nor invite input
Does your partner have a problem with your disorganization? With time on your hands (if you are out of work), this would be the best time to organize everything. Finances, job-related information, clothes, personal identifying documents, credit, and living are best cleaned and organized to help relieve the stress of unemployment, and for your peace of mind.
Unemployed. This too, will pass.